Make a rule on how to be kind. How to learn to be kinder

The modern world is becoming more and more cruel. If earlier kindness was considered one of the characteristics along with courage and courage, today such human qualities as vanity, the desire to be successful and the best are leading. Unfortunately, many have forgotten one simple truth: treat people the way you want them to treat you. It's never too late to change yourself for the better. So how do you become kinder to the people around you?

Often we use words without even thinking about their meaning. For example, what does the term “kindness” mean, what does “become kinder” mean? Kindness is, first of all, a tolerant attitude towards other people, regardless of their social affiliation. The synonyms of the word "kindness" are tolerance, philanthropy, tolerance. Kindness is not innate, it is one that develops throughout life. The presence of tolerance towards people depends on the attitude of a person to life in general. Anyone can learn from others.

A few tips on how to be kinder to people and the world in general:

1. Often, many things around us are taken for granted, but everything that we have, we owe to someone. Often to ourselves. Think about what is good in your life today, and mentally thank those to whom you owe it. Being kind to yourself is a great art.
2. Know how to correctly express gratitude, which, as you know, is a manifestation of God on Earth. Even unfamiliar and completely unfamiliar people should be treated with gratitude: the seller in the store, the taxi driver, the janitor. Of course, one can object: “Why would I thank a person just for doing his job?” But remember how a kind word said in the morning charges you with positive energy for the whole day.
3. Give compliments, because they are great cheer up. You should not get annoyed over trifles and see only the bad in people. In every, even the most vile person, you can find something good.
4. Don't judge other people. There is always someone wrong in the world, so why waste your mental strength on these people and prove the opposite?

Question: “how to become kinder to colleagues at work?” is one of the most important. In conditions of constant competition, the struggle for career advancement, it is very difficult to remain a person in the full sense of the word. Try not to take out your irritation on colleagues and subordinates, as they are also under constant stress. Sometimes, in order to start treating a person better, you need to get to know him better. Perhaps two seemingly different people have common interests and topics for conversation.

How can you be kinder to your loved ones?

Relations in the family should be built primarily on the respectful attitude of all its members to each other. A good attitude towards people is laid down from childhood. A sense of tolerance and tolerance should be instilled in children from an early age. A child accustomed from an early age to seeing a mother beaten by a drunken father is unlikely to treat his future wife differently. About respect for elders, about kindness and compassion, you need to tell the child even before he goes to school. Children who care about animals, birds and insects grow up kinder towards the people around them. Family relationships must be trusting. Do not hide your problems from loved ones, because finding a way out of any situation is much easier together. Don't take it out on the kids. Know how to ask for forgiveness where necessary.

There can be a thousand answers to the question “how to become kinder”. Each psychologist will add a couple more from himself. Being kind to others always starts with being kind to yourself. I would like to believe that initially in a person it was nevertheless good, and not evil. And one more simple truth says: if a person is satisfied with himself and his life, he is happy and kind and ready to give his kindness to everyone around him. Perhaps in order to be kind, you first need to be happy!

How to become kinder? If in the whirlwind of passions of the modern world you stop and think about how to become kinder, then half the way has already been passed.

Today, people are so busy with careers, family problems, and "housing issues" that they can walk past a person standing on a bridge ready to jump off. Do not notice, do not stop, do not give a hand.

There really is not enough kindness and attention to your neighbors today, and in order for their number to increase rapidly, you need to start with yourself.

A hard life often makes us nervous and angry. Sometimes it's hard to resist seeing how your little tomboy has taken off his diaper and smeared its contents on the wallpaper, while a tired husband is enthusiastically watching TV.

It is not easy to resist barbs in the direction of colleagues, having returned from the boss's carpet, where it was you who were subjected to much more barbs.

It is difficult to accept with a smile those who, at first glance, have everything better than ours - the car is more expensive, and the children are more well-mannered, and richer.

Here are some tips from psychologists on how to keep a smile on your face, kindness in your heart and harmony in your soul, no matter what.

But remember that all these tips won't work if you don't love yourself first. Be kind and honest with yourself, and then it will be much easier to love the world around you!

1) Don't get used to good things, perceive all the little things as a miracle, as a gift. For many girls, a husband who prepares breakfast, a child who collects his toys, a colleague who brings coffee is a matter of course.

But as soon as you take off your "dark glasses" and see in it acts of care for you, everything inside will blossom! Be grateful to loved ones for everything that you previously took for granted. And pay them with the same coin.

2) Forget about gossip and gossip. How many petty obscenities, unjustified criticism, unfair condemnation in our life!

The secretary came in a short skirt, showing off her beautiful legs, and the entire female team whispers: “Oh, look, Masha is dressed up, obviously they have something with their boss ...”

A suitor in a Mercedes came for a neighbor: “Well, for sure, a bandit. You can’t earn money honestly on such a car! ”

The apotheosis of neighborly “mindfulness” was the incident that happened to my friend, when he and his family moved into a new apartment.

His thirty-year-old wife (I will clarify that she is very thin and rarely uses makeup) went for a walk.

The husband followed, and heard how the grandmothers on the bench were furiously discussing: “Look, she’s not even eighteen yet, but she’s already worked up somewhere, shame.”

If you participate in such gossip, then you send tons of negative energy into space, and after the character. And all of it will come back to you, sooner or later. Do not give in to envy and try to soberly assess the situation.

Masha's secretary may have a student fiancé, and it was to him that she dressed up for a date. And the boyfriend took the Mercedes from the hard worker-father to impress his girlfriend.

3) Be grateful not only internally, but also externally. Feel free to show love and say "Thank you". Of course, you can’t spread them on bread, but they are guaranteed to improve the mood of both of you! And your husband or wife must be praised incessantly.

As the poet Huberman said, “a man for praise” is ready for a lot, not only to get the luminaries from the sky, but also to sweep the dust in the corner. And nothing, now he is watching football, but tomorrow he will beat the plinth and give flowers.

Simply put, use the “carrot method” instead of a stick, and you will quickly reap the benefits of kindness in your small isolated family.

4) Do not get involved in disputes if you do not see the prospect of winning them. And in general, the controversy is from the evil one. It is worth recognizing that both the son-in-law and the daughter-in-law, and your parents have their own opinion, and it should be respected.

This does not mean that at the first hint of conflict one should lay down their arms and wave a white flag. But suspecting another quarrel, think, maybe keep silent and calmly stay with your own?

5) There will always be a person in your environment who is unpleasant to you. Your personal irritant. Everyone has his own, but believe me, you are not the only one so unlucky.

If you are forced to often spend time in his company (at work, with friends or relatives), challenge yourself to find one positive side.

There must be at least something that you like: the way you dress, the color of your hair, a sense of humor, the ability to cook, professionalism ... Did you find it? Wonderful.

Now give him a compliment. Praise this particular quality of him, emphasizing that you like it. E

this will allow you to honestly melt the ice and start to perceive it a little differently.

Try to become kinder, and the world around you will reciprocate!

The laws of modern life dictate their own rules of survival to us. In conditions when everyone has to literally fight for their place in the sun, such qualities as kindness, politeness, and pliability have faded into the background. It is believed that in order to become yourself as a person, you need to have business acumen, be assertive, stubborn and arrogant. A series of endless working days, painted literally in seconds, a large stream of negative information, the desire to “not miss your own” - all these factors in the near future become a solid guarantee of apathy, nervous breakdowns and even depression. Is it possible, with such a rhythm of life, to remain a calm and balanced person, without losing the most human traits of one's character? Of course you can, but with the right approach.

How to become calmer?

1. Schedule your life.

We strive to do everything at once, often taking on an overwhelming burden. We rush, we make mistakes, we miss opportunities. As a result, we have unfulfilled plans, dissatisfaction with ourselves and problems with the nervous system. Way out? No matter how paradoxical it may sound, but try to live slowly. Find time for proper rest, alternate mental and physical work, do not give up family traditions, keep in touch with family and friends.

2. Find yourself a hobby.

Doing what you love will help you escape from the daily hustle and bustle, calm down, think and draw certain conclusions. Just do not convince yourself in advance that you do not know how and nothing will work. If you do not like needlework, you can study the art of photography, enroll in foreign language courses, encroach on the basics of culinary art. After a few sessions, you will notice how much it helps to calm down and put your thoughts in order.

3. Filter information.

Do not watch news releases every half an hour, refuse to communicate with people that are unpleasant for you, do not take criticism (especially unfounded) to heart. Focus on what you are really interested in: watch good old movies, attend exhibitions and concerts, go to cafes with friends, go on picnics. Positive emotions contribute to a good mood and do not leave room for unnecessary worries and fears.

How to become kinder?

1. Learn to give thanks.

In everything that you have, there is a merit of other people. Learn to say sincerely “thank you” to people who have helped you at a certain stage in your life.

2. Be more tolerant of other people's shortcomings.

Ideal people do not exist. You also have your shortcomings and not entirely positive character traits, however, this does not prevent your family and friends from loving you and accepting you for who you are. Focus on the positive, do not dwell on old grievances, learn to forgive and let go.

3. Do good every day.

Do not be indifferent to other people's problems, try to help at every opportunity, especially when you are asked about it. Start small: help the neighbor's grandmother carry a heavy package to the apartment, feed a lost puppy, sign up for a charity organization and provide all possible assistance to those in need.

In order to remain a calm, kind person, you must first of all love yourself. Arm yourself with a positive attitude, do not dwell on past grievances, take it easier on the actions of others. Love life, appreciate loved ones, respect others, and your actions will return to you a hundredfold in the near future.

They say that it is kindness that will save the world. But is it possible to become kinder to people if your character is not a gift and not with a bow. You have to, otherwise life will force you, and not in the most pleasant ways. And kindness can actually be developed.

• Strive to develop empathy. Read other people's emotions. To do this, you can simply look into the eyes of a person, or you can mirror his poses. It’s just that a person’s body is more powerful than all words to talk about his feelings, therefore, by adopting a similar pose or adopting a person’s tempo-rhythm, you will better understand his feelings. Express your sympathy. Just tell the person that you understand him. Maybe it will be mechanical at first, but over time you will learn to really sympathize and empathize.
• Learn kindness from fairy tale characters and animals. The heroes of folk tales are the standard of how to be kind. No matter how cramped the heroes were in the tower, they were not greedy and calmly let their neighbors into it. Perhaps this seems naive and unfashionable to you, but it is positive. You can learn to be kinder to people from pets. So, cats are not herd creatures, so they teach you to love sincerely, and dogs do love you for who you are. And this is what they need to learn. If you have got yourself a pet, then you must definitely learn to be kind: dogs can’t stand evil people by smell. In addition, a pet is a real school of care and kindness for both you and your child. He will teach you to restrain negative emotions and be more patient, because the animal cannot be beaten and offended.
• Take the person's place. This should not be done all the time, but only when you want to say nasty things to a person, for example, in response to a sharp statement from a neighbor. Stand for a moment in the place of this person and try to understand his condition. Look at the situation from the outside, as if watching a movie. This will reduce your irritability and respond adequately, without aggression.
• Be kind to yourself. Well, how to become kinder and calmer if you are your own Cerberus? Turn off your inner critic - he is really cruel to you and to the people around you. He will tell you that there are only enemies around, that no one will help you, and many more negative things. Find antidote words for all his attacks. You can even make a list: the negative words of the inner critic and, on the contrary, a phrase that denies this thought. To silence a critic, you can boost your self-esteem. In addition, you should allow yourself to be not an ideal person, but yourself, real, albeit imperfect, but with its own value.

Don't forget to love yourself too: pamper yourself and learn to track your feelings. This will make it easier for you to understand your neighbors: who really needs help, and who is manipulating. So you get rid of the negative in relation to others. All this will help you see the positive in everyone around you.

• In general, learn to think positively. How to become kinder and calmer if you perceive everything gloomy? It is very difficult to perceive everything in a positive way, but start at least by removing a piece not from thoughts and replacing it with other words. For example, do not say that you do not want to get sick, but that you will be healthy.
• Be kind to your loved ones. You can be affectionate with distant acquaintances, but aggressive with your family. And they need your kindness and love more than anyone else.
• Kindness = gratitude. Try to take some time to think about what or whom you are grateful for in life: parents who gave you wonderful natural gifts and gave a lot during your upbringing, friends and enemies from whom you learned good things. Give thanks even for a negative experience. It is equally important every evening to remember three people or three facts for which you are grateful for this day. It's easier than it looks.
• Learn to compliment. This is a very interesting activity: look at a stranger, find beauty in him and say about it. Such a communicative gift to a person.

Be prepared for the fact that the reaction to such a gift can be absolutely any: they can even scold. Take it for granted. And over time, you will learn to see beauty in all people and compliments will be more and more skillful and sincere.

• Help people. If today you managed to help only one person, this day has not passed in vain. You should not wait for gratitude: it will not matter, and if it doesn’t, then you will show the person that there are good people and over time he will believe in it. By the way, over time you will enjoy helping people and it will become a good habit.
• Do what you really enjoy. Many people are embittered because they are forced to do unloved work and often for meager money. And the secret is that if you do exactly what you like, then it will bring much more money (simply because you probably devoted a lot of time to this and know how to do it) and moral satisfaction. And this eliminates any bitterness, if anything.
• Believe in the power of a smile. When you smile, you send a positive message to the world. He comes back to you and makes you kinder.
• Take up meditation. To begin with, try to remember all the times when you were treated with kindness and warmth. Remember all the cases, starting from childhood. And now we sit down and completely relax. And now we visualize all these situations and try to enter that state. It is important to breathe evenly and deeply. Work through a couple of these situations daily.
• Hang out with kind people. Surround yourself with just such people. Learn kindness from them. If there are angry and aggressive people in your environment who humiliate you and constantly lower your self-esteem, you simply will not have the resource to be kind.

Kindness is an innate quality that not everyone has. But anyone can be better. And it will make your life happier.

What is meant by the word kindness? How to become a kind person, having a difficult character? First you need to understand what is hidden under the word kindness. A kind person is a character trait to be achieved.

But, for example, in the concept of a good person - only a subjective opinion is hidden from a particular person. The most important thing to understand is that a kind person cannot be good for everyone. Consider the reasons that prevent you from starting to live without anger.

The most famous causes of anger:

• Feeling tired, stressed;
• mood swings;
• Dissatisfaction with your life
• Not happy with the environment;
• Bad Education;
• Envy of other people.

First of all, in order to answer the question of how to become kind, you need to get rid of negative traits and give people the good attitude that you would like to receive in return. You will not be able to win over a person if you treat him differently. Don't wait for people to take the first step, start with yourself. Then the result will not be long in coming. Below are some tips and tricks for becoming kind.

Help people

The best way to develop the quality of a kind person is to start helping people. Set a goal to help at least one person a day. This method already guarantees you that you have not lived this day in vain. A kind person is one who is always happy to lend a helping hand to society. Start doing good deeds, and you yourself will understand how much you will become a happy and kind person.

Drive away sad thoughts

Everything that happens to us is often associated with our fantasies. After all, it is not in vain that they say that every thought has the ability to come true. Therefore, a good way out is to start the day with the right thoughts. Thus, you can end your day with a smile. It will be difficult at first, but over time you will learn to control your thinking and the endless circle of sadness will break. It is useful to read: ""

Learn to love yourself so you can love others

To be able to love others, you first need to start loving yourself. It's not as simple as it looks at first glance. You will face the fact that you will start to blame yourself, but after that, it will help you to cope with the task. If you don't know where to start, try making a list of all your best qualities. This will give you a push to win.

Find your favorite job

Complain about people, and they seem a little unpleasant to you? Maybe you see them like this while you are at work. After all, often the factor of the problem lies in the dissatisfaction associated with work. If you want to become kinder, find yourself an occupation that will please you in the material and spiritual direction. At the same time, spiritual quality should always be a priority, because spending time on a thing that you do not like is pointless.

Volunteer

You don't have to have a lot of money to help the world. Develop in yourself the desire to do good deeds. Determine the amount based on the monthly profit that you could give to charity. The amount spent will not harm you, but will help someone's life. The very fact that you took part in helping will help you become kinder.

smile

How to be a kind person? You need to start your day with a smile. Set a goal for yourself to last seven days with a smile. Then you yourself will believe in it. Be sure that the positive is always attracted by a magnet to happy people.

Don't blame others for your troubles

Do not look for the guilty among other people. Any circumstances always lead to good or bad results. Accept your achievements, even if they are not the best. Sooner or later everything will change for the better. After all, it is also an experience.

No need to envy

Everyone is capable of envy, but not everyone does it right. A good option is when your envy manifests itself in an even greater desire to make the goal realized. But the worst case is when you only talk about people's bias and express your dissatisfaction, only hiding your envy. This kind of envy is to be avoided. This will not only reflect badly on trying to become kinder, but will also spoil your character in a bad way.

Learn to forgive

If you learn to forget anger and resentment, it will help you in the future path to become kinder. This method applies not only to serious quarrels and betrayals by other people, but also to small conflicts. Accept the fact that now you need to apologize. After all, you did the wrong thing. Thus, you will be able to become kinder, just learn to accept not only your own, but also other people's mistakes. Articles will help with this: "", "".

Learn to manage emotions

How to be kind and get rid of negative emotions in the form of anger and resentment? Control your inner self, even in stressful situations. Try not to bring up bad emotions through your memories. Also, you don't need to remember the troubles from the past. This will only make the problem worse.

Learn to enjoy life

Good people can't help but rejoice. Try adding some new and unplanned things to your life. Take a walk, make decisions that you have been putting off for a long time, make pleasant purchases. Now it is important to give free rein to new impressions. One life, don't waste it on nonsense.

Be in a good mood towards other people

There are several ways to communicate with strangers. For example, in a store, you can say thank you and just walk away. And there is a second way. Try to find out how things are at work, wish you a good day. As a result, you and the other person will have much more joy. Be sincere and you will receive the same kindness in return.

Be wise

To be kinder to other people, think about how they felt at that moment. So you will be able to understand the reason why this or that person commits such actions. But one should not expect generosity from others, because everyone is individual. Be yourself. After all, now you are a kind and understanding person.

Learn to admit mistakes

Another effective way is to accept your mistakes. Don't be afraid to ask for forgiveness. Learn to distinguish right actions from wrong actions. If you see a frustrated friend, chances are that your words may have affected them greatly. Try to do the analysis on a piece of paper. And draw conclusions about your actions.

Pay attention to others

How to become kind and start listening to your interlocutors? Start studying others, look for an approach to everyone. Empathize and be there even in the most difficult situations. When a person tells you a story, try to make eye contact with each sentence. Don't forget to present the situation correctly.

Learn to listen

To correctly understand who needs help, you need to learn to listen. Sometimes it is enough to be a good listener and express your opinion about problems. Do not try to solve the problem in practice, unless the person asks for it. The main thing is not to impose on people. You can always come to the rescue when you really need it.

Learn to be calm

A person who knows how to concentrate will already be close to the desired goal. Aggressive people are rarely kind people. They just push people away. Try to change this trait for the better. After all, society tries to reach out for help to calm people.

Learn to express your thoughts delicately

Any thoughtless word can offend a person. Many may perceive your act as a disregard for the individual. You will be considered rather aggressive, and this will alienate people. Such actions are out of the question. To answer the question of how to be kind, you must try to be tactful and use words correctly when it comes to unpleasant news.

Be kind to your friends

Help relatives, relatives and friends with advice. Many people do not want to deal with other people's problems, but you are not one of those people. Just remember that aid doesn't have to be massive. Show that you value your inner circle. Now it is necessary.

To become kind, you need to start seeing the bright side of everything. When you see failure, you need to be strong and not lose your hand. The main thing to remember is that kindness is about help, love, patience. A kind person will always be glad to people, even in the most difficult times. Work on yourself and everything will work out.