How to do so without being nervous. A few simple rules to help get out of a state of excitement. Accept your own imperfection

"Calm down and don't be nervous" is a really infuriating phrase! How not to be nervous and not worry when the child does not call (how did he get to school?), at work the boss is angry and always makes claims (it’s scary to appear in his eyes!), My husband yesterday accused me of big expenses (shopping calms nerves, how does he explain?). In general, every hour there is a "new introductory", the slightest reason makes you nervous, worried, lose self-control.

“... Just a few lectures and everything has changed dramatically. I became calm and patient. I stopped yelling at my son completely. I don't scream and I don't want to. I wanted changes in my life, changes in my relationship with my son, especially with my son - this is what I got from the SVP training. And I got much more than I wanted ... "

If you tend to worry and get nervous for any reason, start by studying your mental properties and abilities - register for free online lectures.

The article was written using the training materials "Systemic Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan
Chapter:

Let's ask ourselves what happens to us and our body when we are nervous?

In today's world of constant movement and activity, people regularly face stress. Constant stress haunts us at work, on the way home, and we try to do everything in time - this makes the nervous tension only stronger. Stress has become a mandatory companion on the life path of every person.

And then we begin to think: how to become more restrained, remain calm and stop being nervous in various stressful situations.

At the moment of stress, all systems of our body are involved in the process of nervous excitement.. One of the most common side effects of stress is a migraine. It occurs due to spasms of muscles and blood vessels, which lead to a slight shift in the internal organs of a person. This reaction of the body provokes a decrease in the amount of oxygen in the blood and subsequent oxygen starvation. Also, nervous overexcitation leads to an increase in the hormone "cortisol" in the body. In normal amounts, this hormone performs a protective function, however, when it becomes too much, it leads to poisoning and subsequent destruction of the body and human health in general.

Psychology says that the experience of stress and the habit of worrying and being nervous is the cause of loss of health, premature death, problems in the family and personal life.

Beware of drugs!

The easiest way to cope with stress, stop being nervous and relax is medicine. However, it must be taken with great caution.

Sedative drugs, in addition to benefits, can cause significant harm to the body, because. have contraindications and can be addictive.

Preparations are divided into three groups, which are based on methods of influencing the body, each of which has its own characteristics:

1. Used for excessive anxiety, heart palpitations, irritability
2. The second type of drugs is a strong antidepressant, prescribed for reduced body activity, lethargy
3. The third - should help when the symptoms of the first and second type alternate each other.

Any of these drugs are prescribed by a doctor and taking them without a prescription can lead to sad consequences. Therefore, in the case of slightly pronounced symptoms of nervous overexcitation of the body, herbal preparations help well. They help to relax and do not have a significant effect on the body. These medicines include:

• Valerian tincture;
• Motherwort;
• Negrustin;
• Persen;
• Novo-passit.

The last three preparations contain St. John's wort, lemon balm, mint, motherwort, hops, etc. All these herbs have a beneficial effect on the human body - they calm the heartbeat, relax, reduce pressure, help to control oneself in situations of stress.

It is possible to control oneself in a stressful situation without resorting to medications!

Be that as it may, and no matter how the pages of magazines, newspapers and television are not full of offers of drugs with which you can calm down and relax without harm to your body - all the same, this is an external and in some cases chemical effect on your body. Each person wants to use fewer pills, strengthen the nervous system and start living using internal resources. But is it possible to learn not to be nervous and calm down on your own? Psychology tells us yes. And it is within the power of almost everyone.

Exercises

If you find yourself in a stressful situation, when you feel that everything infuriates you, you can’t think about anything but a problem, your heart rate increases, you start to freak out - it’s worth starting to do some simple exercises:

• To begin with, count to 10. You need to breathe slowly, tracking your every inhalation and exhalation.
• Water brings peace. You can use it in different ways - ideally, you need to swim. However, if this is not possible, wash yourself, wash any thing that is at hand, wash the dishes, trying to breathe slowly. Drinking a glass of water is the easiest way to calm down in any stressful situation.
• Walk. Any physical exercise - whether it's running, dancing, exercising in the gym or walking - will help strengthen your health, remove toxins from the body and contribute to the release of negative energy.
• Tears cleanse the soul. And so is your body. Toxic substances that are released into the blood during moments of stress are released along with tears.. That is why in some situations crying is not something that is not forbidden, but will even be useful.
• And finally, get out of the situation that infuriates you and makes you angry. If you are in a difficult meeting, or have an unpleasant conversation, etc. The easiest thing you can do is get out. Both literally and figuratively. Give yourself time to calm down, use the methods listed above and, when you are calmer and no longer nervous, return to the situation.

The tips listed above will help answer the question of how to learn not to be nervous, how to cope with a stressful situation, and become calmer here and now. However, there are many people among us who, due to the specifics of their temperament, character and lifestyle, are prone to excessive anxiety and nervous overexcitation in situations where there is objectively no reason for this. In this case, it is necessary to start changing the way of life and thinking.

Live in peace and harmony with yourself

The changes that need to be made in your life are related to all its aspects. First, it is a way of thinking.

We need to learn to stop being nervous for any reason, and the reasons for calmness are in our heads.

Secondly, a positive attitude towards your body and body and work with it helps not to be nervous over trifles, and thirdly, a certain lifestyle in general contributes to calmness. The following are tips on how to implement this:

1. Proper nutrition. A system of simple rules will help strengthen the body, not be nervous and feel energized all day: eat more fruits and vegetables, do not forget about dairy products, morning cereals. Try to minimize the consumption of fatty and sweet, but do not overdo it - sweet in the morning is even useful, because it contains glucose, which is necessary for your body.
2. You need to start exercising regularly. Immediately waking up, turn on the music, warm up, dance. Develop a system of physical exercises.
3. Learn to relax. This means that in addition to your main duties, you have hobbies, places where you feel good and calm, friends, etc. When you find yourself in a situation that pisses you off, think about it.
4. Keep a record of situations that make you nervous. Have a notepad handy at all times to record when you are experiencing symptoms of anxiety. Regularly analyze them - find the common and the reasons. For example: “I am constantly nervous in the company of strangers”, “I break down when they argue with me”, “I begin to worry before an important event”, etc. Once you understand what situations and why unsettle you, you will be ready for them and be able to manage them.
5. Always remember that it could be worse. Many people have a bigger problem than you.. The thought is material.
6. Have clear goals and plans. An aimless existence is a cause for stress, because time passes, and nothing changes in life.

Set achievable goals for yourself, strive for them - and you will see how small failures and unpleasant situations will stop bothering and worrying you.

1. Plan your business. Very often the cause of stress is lack of time. Follow him, give yourself enough of it to live and do something slowly. Also, planning will allow you to track your performance and maintain control over the situation and your life.
2. Strive for an adequate assessment of your personality and what happened to you. Very often we overestimate the significance of events and situations, think about the bad and begin to get nervous and worry about the fact that over time it loses its importance.

Try to keep in mind what you define as the most important thing in life, for example: family, children, travel, career, etc.

Accordingly, everything else becomes less important and it makes no sense to worry. You must try not to blame - you are not God and not perfect, like all people. Be kind to yourself - "I snap because I have the right to it, but I start to fight it"

1. You need to stop thinking about the bad. This means that we create a problem situation in our head and begin to worry about it, although in reality it does not exist and may not exist at all. Your thoughts about possible failures and losses are just fear that speaks of your insecurity in yourself, in your loved ones and prevents you from living.

Remember - there are no hopeless situations!

Drive away negative thoughts and do not let them control you.

1. Try to think less and worry about how others perceive you. Or rather, don't think at all. You can never be sure of your assessment of what people think of you. So is it worth worrying about? Moreover, we greatly exaggerate our own importance in the eyes of others. Others have their own problems, and they think first of all about themselves, not about you.
2. Nobody owes you anything! Always keep this in mind when you start to get irritated and nervous because someone's behavior is not the way you would like. You have no right to force others to act solely in accordance with your interests.. Try to see the good in the bad.
3. Keep a balance between work and leisure. Both work and play should be present in your life. Have the opportunity to do work and relax at the time you need it.
4. Take your time! The desire to do everything and do several things at the same time is the first cause of stress. Set priorities, and always keep in mind that your healthy body and peace of mind are the most important and expensive thing you have.

Peace, only peace!

The ability to manage your emotions in different situations, maintain a good mood and think positively is the basis of longevity and a happy life. Yoga, meditation - first of all, they teach how to stop being nervous in situations of stress and calm down. In the life of every person there are many situations that make you very worried, nervous and annoyed, you just need to learn how to treat them correctly.

No one will relieve you of stress, but making it as safe as possible is in your power.

By using your life organization model and stress response techniques, you can manage your condition, relax, and change your life for the better.

Hello, friends.

Today you will learn how to stop worrying and also wind yourself up. I already wrote about how the tips from that article will help you not only understand how not to be nervous, but also how to finally not worry about anything. But today, in a new article, I will consider the experience from the point of view of winding myself up. By understanding how to put this mechanism of your psyche under control, you can greatly improve your life and not worry about trifles.

Natural and twisted experiences

In fact, we tend to worry. After all, we are not robots, but living people.

In a person's life there are often difficulties and troubles.

And when faced with trouble, we begin to worry.

To worry means to be protected from troubles. This turns on the instinct of self-preservation, which we need, without it we would simply die. Experience is the reaction of the psyche when the instinct of self-preservation is triggered.

Therefore, it is natural when a mother is afraid for her child if he does not return home late. A husband begins to worry about his wife when she gives birth, and it is difficult for a woman not to worry during pregnancy. We worry before an important meeting, a date, because of work, when we are fired. We fear for our lives when we are threatened. These are all examples of natural experience, and there is no need to get rid of them.

If a person simply experienced these natural feelings, then there would be nothing terrible. But not everything is so simple.

After all, what often happens then. The person begins to wind himself up. He begins not just to worry, but presents unpleasant pictures of events that have not yet come true or events that have already happened, about which he has no information. That is, he still does not know what will happen or has already happened, but he begins to imagine that a disaster has happened, everything is bad and everything like that.

It mostly happens in a negative way.

All. An uncontrollable flurry of emotions has begun, which lead to problems, take away our health, and do not allow us to take a sober look at the situation.

Why is this happening?

The egoistic mechanism of our psyche-ego is to blame for everything. she is constantly afraid of something, feels sorry for herself, wants everything to be always good and only as she needs. It's just the way it is.

The ego psyche is also afraid to experience unpleasant emotions, as a result, we are simply afraid of the negative. There is a so-called fear of fear.

For example, a mother, realizing that she is hurt by the fact that her son has not returned, begins to be afraid not only of these circumstances, but of fear itself. "How can I endure this, I will feel really bad, I will be very worried". Instead of acting calmly, she begins to hysteria, lose her head, blame someone for her troubles, without understanding the circumstances. The psyche-ego tends to represent everything negatively. It is so arranged. All sorts of fears are constantly sitting inside us, which come out at the first opportunity.

And this process is dragging on.

And if you worry too often and for a long time, then the body will work for wear and tear.

Natural experiences are not great in strength and usually do not last long, so there is little harm from them. But when we begin to worry, winding ourselves up, then emotions will be stronger and more energy-consuming. If we worry for a long time, we will definitely get sick. And also the psyche will become weaker. With new, even trifling, troubles, we will begin to worry again. It turns out a vicious circle from which it would seem there is no way out.

What to do? But there is a way out.

You just need to stop the egoistic mechanism of the psyche, which starts winding itself up. A wise, philosophical attitude to life, as well as awareness in relation to the uncontrolled emotions of experience, will help us in this.

Be wise

In order for your life to become much better and to stop worrying, winding up emotions, you need to treat it correctly, be wise.

There are wise, well-known attitudes. And they should not be treated with disdain. They are really helpful.

The correct worldview, as it were, calms the ego-psyche, puts it in its place, we really begin to worry less. Thanks to them, ours, as it were, wakes up, spreads its wings. You probably felt it yourself when you unconsciously followed these guidelines, when you had the so-called uplift of the spirit, all the negativity left, and the vital energy increased. At such moments, you just want to enjoy life, create, do the right non-egoistic actions.

This happens because the soul, where beautiful feelings dwell, has suppressed, eclipsed the selfish whims of the ego.

The ego, having subsided, stops generating negative emotions, we stop winding ourselves up. The energy that was previously spent on bad emotions is released, now it can be directed to the right actions. Consciousness is cleared, we begin to think soberly. See how everything is connected. Do you get the gist?

These are the settings:

A happy person is not the one who has only good events in his life, but the one who treats everything that happens to him correctly.

Accept calmly and with dignity any event in your life. If trouble or trouble happened, then so be it. Such is fate. It means that life wants to show you something, to teach you.

Everything in life cannot be good, there will be difficulties and failures.

Difficulties build character and make you stronger.

After the black stripe in life, a white one will definitely go. If you do not accept the hard times in your life and get upset, then the black streak will last longer.

Also accept any feeling within yourself, even if they are unpleasant. Don't be afraid of your fears. Know how to look at them without running away from them.

And other wise attitudes that I often talk about on this blog.

But for some reason, everyone knows these statements, but as soon as problems pile up on a person, he forgets about them and again makes mistakes that he has to pay for.

The thing is that in a person they are usually just in the mind. But it is necessary to feel them, to understand the deep meaning. Only then will they remain in the subconscious and at a difficult moment come out of there, save the situation.

To do this, close your eyes and slowly say these settings. Feel them with your soul, understand the inner meaning.

Well, in order to finally get rid of wound experiences, you need to learn how to control them. What are we going to do now.

How can we not worry about anything with the help of mindfulness

So, to get rid of twisted thoughts and worry less, you need to turn on.

But first of all, stop fighting with yourself, with those experiences that have washed over you. Wrestling is a form of cooperation that leads to unnecessary tension, which means even more problems, both physically and emotionally. And our task is to calm down. To do this, do not fight with experiences, but rather let them be.

It is human nature to do the opposite. He tries with all his might to get rid of unpleasant feelings, begins to fight them. It even happens unconsciously, automatically, one might say without the will of a person. As I have already said, the uncontrolled work of our psyche with its own selfish motives is to blame. She tends to be afraid, she wants to always be good and pleasant. She can't stand bad feelings and tries to hide from them. This is expressed by the fact that a person, struggling with fear during an experience, drives it deep into himself. That is, it displaces from the surface consciousness, where an unconscious person is usually located, deeper into the subconscious. But fear has not really gone away, it is doing its destructive work. And from the depths of consciousness he throws us terrible pictures of events that have not yet come true. This is one of the reasons why a person begins to wind himself up.

All this work of suppressing unpleasant feelings, the development of tension and, as a result, a flurry of new already twisted experiences, goes differently for everyone. Someone is hysterical, the other, on the contrary, falls into a stupor, the third simply does not understand what he is doing. But everyone's consciousness narrows equally, the head becomes clouded, an uncontrollable flurry of twisted emotions is generated.

To prevent this from happening, I repeat, you need to stop and stop the internal struggle.

If you follow wise guidelines, you will calmly accept not only any circumstance in your life, but also any feeling within yourself. The ability to endure any, even the most unpleasant feelings and emotions inside oneself, characterizes the degree of maturity and wisdom of a person.

Let the feelings be. Release them to freedom. Let fear be within you. You humbly understand what you are experiencing, because you are a person with vivid feelings. Continuing our example, the mother understands that she is worried about her son, she comes to terms with it.

Then just close your eyes, turn your attention inward, see what the feelings of experience do with the body. You can feel a chill in your stomach, a lump somewhere inside, or maybe even understand why they say "the soul has gone to the heels."

Thus, you allow the body to naturally worry, do not interfere with it, allow it to do what is characteristic of nature. And then the body, seeing that it is not interfered with, experiences and somehow defuses the inner fears of experiencing. You can also look at the fears themselves from the outside. Create distance between yourself and your uncomfortable feelings. And what happens next when you calmly let your body worry, and look at the feelings from the outside. Experiences will either decrease or even completely disappear. There will definitely be no twisted experiences.

Now the mother, from our example, will be able to calmly assess the situation, call someone, find out something, that is, she can really find her son, well, or humbly wait without tantrums.

If you fail to do all this the first time, do not despair, try again. The power of your awareness is, of course, still weak to stop the flow of uncontrollable emotions the first time.

If, nevertheless, the ego took over, began to throw unpleasant pictures at you, and you started cheating, you just need to catch yourself that you have lost awareness. And then close your eyes and do it all over again.

I think you will succeed.

By getting rid of unnecessary experiences, you will free up a lot of energy and be able to direct it in the right direction. Act, seek, undertake something or humbly wait. The main thing is that now you will have a clear mind, even if natural experiences remain. But the twisted ones, which create problems, will no longer be.

If you always do this when you are worried, you will see how much your life has begun to change for the better. And the mother from our example, after she calms down, suddenly hears a bell, runs to open the door and sees her beloved son safe and sound.

All because the law worked:

"think positive and positive things will happen".

And how can you think about the good when uncontrollable twisted experiences are piled on us. Only awareness can stop them, and then we will feel the good feelings of our soul. After all, that's where they live. And that's the only way this law works. Do you understand?

I think you have understood how to finally stop worrying, now you can start living a full life of a happy and healthy person without twisted experiences.

And at the end of the article I want to add that I myself often worried about everything before and could not stop winding myself up.

I understand those people who are looking for an answer to this question.

I was too sensitive and could not bear the stress. I couldn't help worrying about trifles.

All these experiences greatly exhausted, did not allow to live a normal life. They took strength and undermined health. Later, I began to understand the reasons for such a painful mode of mental response, and now I am sharing with you the knowledge I have gained.

My recipe is this:

You can’t just take it and stop worrying in an instant. You need to gradually increase the strength of the spirit, become stronger morally, mentally, be a wise and mature, conscious person, learn to control your emotions.

What I told you today. And, you can read separately by clicking on the link.

That's all for today.

Good luck to you.

And from the music, let's remember a wonderful composition from Enigma.

What if anxiety and constant worries haunt you at every turn? Where does excessive anxiety for your child come from? What to do if the slightest reason makes you nervous, instills fear for the health and fate of the child, for his development, his future?

Anxiety and constant anxiety are constant companions of my life. Beloved man is late at the meeting? Imagination immediately slips terrible pictures of his betrayal. At work, the boss looked askance in my direction - apparently, he thinks that it's time to remove me from my post. And the anxiety because of the child simply crosses all boundaries: in those ten minutes for which he is late from school, I manage to call a dozen hospitals and a couple of police stations. How to stop worrying and constantly worrying about trifles?

From fly to elephant - how to stop worrying the owner of a rich imagination

Far from each of us, any trifling occasion is capable of evoking such a storm of emotions. The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that the owners are the most sensitive and emotional by nature.

The basic emotion in such people is the fear of death. With proper development in childhood and adequate implementation in adulthood, visual people learn to bring out their emotions through empathy and compassion for others. It is they who are actively involved in helping those who need it most - children, the elderly, the seriously ill, the disabled. In this case, anxiety arises not about oneself, but about another person, about his conditions and problems.

But this is not always the case. Due to childhood psychotrauma or the lack of the necessary social realization, the owner of the visual vector can remain in fear for many years. Then all his incredible range of emotions results in anxiety and fear for any reason, he begins to get nervous over trifles.

Even as an adult, such a person may be afraid to sleep without light, to go to an unfamiliar place alone, to meet people. Numerous fears (get hit by a car, contract a terrible disease, etc.) can develop into serious phobias and even result in panic attacks.

To stop constantly worrying and worrying, the owners of the visual vector need to:

To thoroughly understand the structure of your psyche in order to know exactly and actively apply your innate properties and talents for the benefit of society.

Get rid of all mental traumas and "anchors" that interfere with active implementation.

You can do this at the training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Here is what those people say about the effectiveness of this scientific method, who have succeeded forever, stop worrying about every insignificant occasion and begin to live calmly and joyfully:

How to stop worrying about your loved one

But what about when anxiety arises not about yourself, but about another person? Is it natural to worry and feel anxious, for example, because of a beloved man? It turns out that if I worry not about myself, but about something else, then I adequately realize my visual vector?

This is not entirely true. If a woman experiences constant fear that something will happen to her partner, fears his departure or betrayal, arranges endless tantrums, these states cannot be called healthy and adequate. Although it seems that anxiety arose because of the beloved man or woman, in fact, we are simply afraid of losing something that is very significant to ourselves. What is this?

A visual person makes sense of his life in love and building emotional bonds. When the visual vector is realized enough, its carrier has real fearlessness. When a person is overwhelmed with love, there is no room for fear in him. He generously gives his feelings and compassion, without demanding anything in return.

However, when the properties of the vector have a lack of implementation, the viewer does not give, but on the contrary, endlessly demands attention, sympathy and love. He feels constant anxiety and fear of losing the source that gives him positive emotions.

Such a scheme does not at all contribute to building healthy relationships in a couple, but quite the opposite. Instead of a deep emotional connection, a real emotional dependence arises, which does not create, but destroys relationships. How to stop being nervous and destroy those relationships that are so dear to you?

At the training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan, you will be able to thoroughly understand what is happening in your soul and in the soul of your partner. Many people left feedback on how they managed to improve their health and which already seemed hopeless:

How to stop being nervous about a child

And where does excessive anxiety for your child come from? What to do if the slightest reason makes you nervous, instills fear for the health and fate of the child, for his development, his future?

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that the owners of the anal vector comprehend their life in the family and children, for them these are the dominant values. Caring and worrying about your child is not uncommon for such a person.

However, sometimes the situation goes beyond the reasonable. This is most pronounced in the owners of the anal-visual bundle of vectors, when the properties of the visual vector are not realized and the person is in constant fear. In such a situation, he begins to get nervous and worry about the child over mere trifles.

As soon as the child sneezed, this is perceived as a harbinger of a serious illness. Being five minutes late from school throws a parent into a panic. The care and guardianship inherent in the owners turn into hyper-custody and constant control over the life of the child. It is clear that this does not contribute either to the normal development of the child itself or to the establishment of good, trusting relationships between children and parents.

How to calm down if you are very nervous becomes an urgent issue of everyday life. External conditions throw up more and more stresses, and the internal system is not ready for processing and environmentally friendly response to the emerging load. But from such a general state of humanity, it is worth looking for a way out in independently determining the area that personally causes your discomfort and makes you nervous. It is conditionally possible to designate several general reasons, decomposed into separate individual ones.

Increased sensitivity to the responses of the outside world increases the threshold and the likelihood of a stressful situation. With a developed, inability to perceive criticism, the desire to take everything personally, even everyday worries can cause nervous feelings (when the crowd laughs nearby, thoughts will arise whether it’s over you, the disapproving look and rudeness of the seller will be perceived as a personal insult). Reducing the importance of the opinions of others and the desire to evoke only a positive assessment from everyone significantly reduces the level of stress, saves a lot of energy and establishes true contact with reality, where it turns out that no one cares what you do or how you look.

The desire for constant enjoyment, bringing things to an ideal state, complete independence and increased responsibility can provoke a chronic high level of internal stress. In this state, everything is capable of pissing off, not to mention significant problems. Therefore, it is relevant to constantly pay attention to the level of one's workload and emotional comfort, to search for one's own sources of stress relief, so that in a crisis situation one does not look for options on how to quickly calm down and not be nervous.

You can look for options on how to calm down if you are very nervous for a long time and carefully, some you will discard because of their duration, some because of inaccessibility, some because of reluctance. In fact, you can unlock it for a long time and with the help of any excuses, but in practice there are a sufficient number of ways to cope with frizzy nerves quite simply and quickly.

In the fight against nervousness, sports, physical activity and general work with the body are an invaluable ally, since it is the somatic side that takes the maximum part in reacting to the resulting nervous tension, changing the hormonal balance and processing the splashed adrenaline. Incorporate into your daily routine, if not a full-fledged workout, then exercise or walking, instead of sitting in front of the screen and driving. The more movements you make, the more opportunities your nervous system will get to process the accumulated stress. After a difficult conversation or an unpleasant event, when the passions inside have not subsided, it will help to throw out the negative ones by jogging or beating a pear, and then you can arrange a relaxation session for yourself in the form of stretching, massage or calm lying and conscious muscle relaxation.

In addition to physical activity, our body, and therefore the psyche, depends on water metabolism and the fullness of the body. The common advice to drink water, no matter how ridiculous it may seem, is one of the most effective, even in situations of serious and extreme stressful situations. With an adrenal crisis, the body needs more water to normalize the level of the jumped hormone, you can add a sweetener to the water, since stressful situations include increased brain work to find a way out of the situation, and this work is associated with the absorption of glucose. Replenishment of hydrolytic and glucose balance helps the body to normalize faster. In addition to crisis conditions, drinking ordinary water helps to avoid dehydration (almost a universal phenomenon in the modern world), which, at its pronounced stage, increases anxiety and anxiety. In general, focusing on the needs of your body and a subtle sense of its changes can suggest your personal ways to quickly calm down and not be nervous.

In a situation where you are nervous right now, and you need to react calmly, try to distract yourself from the words and intonations flying in your direction and concentrate on something else. You can guide your inner attention not only by directing it into conflict, but by switching it to considering the details of the cut of your neighbor’s jacket and thinking about where to get the same buttons, you automatically leave the nervous situation by a few percent. Ideally, the irritating situation must be left completely, and not only mentally, i.e. if you meet your ex at a party and can’t react calmly, then leave, if the boor is in the habit of throwing you out of balance with comments on the social network, then throw him in a ban. Trying to endure and trying to create an imaginary image of a well-mannered person should not be confused with adjusting and the desire to be comfortable. In any situation, your living space and mental well-being are your care and responsibility, superheroes who save you from hassle will not appear.

If, having got out of an unpleasant situation, your nerves are still stretched like ropes, then you can deal with the remaining tension by immersing yourself in other things. It is worth choosing them in such a way as to completely carry away into another world - watching a movie is hardly suitable here, because the same mental scrolling of events will continue in the head as without it. A sports game, solving intrigue among acquaintances, a trip to the suburbs for new photos - active, dynamic, captivating you completely and igniting the fire of excitement.

Crying and laughter help to stop being nervous - with the help of the first one, you release excessive tension and get an excellent result of spiritual ease after half an hour of sobbing, while by other methods you can spend a day; and with the help of the second (especially sarcasm, irony, black humor), the situation is reduced in importance, and perhaps even acquires new outlines and nuances.

Learn how your personal nervousness works, what touches you, and what helps you stay normal. Situations that threaten your peace of mind can be tried to be excluded, edited into acceptable forms, or prepared for them. Naturally, no one can be fully armed and never freak out, but you can minimize the damage by exploring your own inner world, sore spots and blind spots, as well as doing preventive constant support for the state of the nervous system. Maintaining and taking care of yourself is not difficult and includes fairly general principles of healthy eating and saturation with various microelements, maintaining an activity regime, taking care of the quality of sleep and rest.

How to learn to calm down and not be nervous after a quarrel?

A quarrel, especially with close people, is unbalanced, but at the same time it requires quick calming down so that a subsequent constructive dialogue and the search for ways of reconciliation are possible. During nervous excitement, our breathing changes, and calming should begin with the stabilization of the respiratory process. During a quarrel, we tend to breathe too often, too deeply, exposing the body to hyperventilation, then for several minutes it is necessary to control the duration of inhalation and exhalation, forcibly stretching the duration and normalizing the depth. If the quarrel is frightening in nature, then involuntary cessation of breathing is possible due to reflex mechanisms (hide, pretend to be dead so as not to suffer). Restore the integrity and coherence of breathing - your task is to achieve breathing without pauses, so that the inhalation flows smoothly into the exhalation.

You can leave the house to ventilate. It's important to let your partner know that you'll be back after calm has been restored so your behavior isn't misinterpreted. While walking, you will be able to assess the situation without the influence of another person and emotional pressure, it can also relieve emotional stress by running, shouting, tearing paper. If you don’t have the opportunity to physically leave the common space, then take a time out in sorting out the relationship, let it be half an hour of silence, during which no one makes claims and does not put up. Stopping and leaving the active phase will help restore your condition, reduce the amount of time required for rehabilitation, and also save you from unnecessary words, decisions and actions made under the influence of feelings.

In the period after a quarrel, when the jitters do not let you go, direct your attention to relieving tension. If you didn’t say some words, then write them in a letter (then re-read it in a calm state and decide whether to show it to the addressee), feelings can be expressed in colors, movement. If there is an opportunity and an appropriate level of trust, then you can talk about the situation with a friend, just do not ask for advice, but ask for support. Contact with water helps to get rid of negative experiences - take a shower, washing away the nervous negativity, or at least rinse your face or palms, hold them under running water - it will give a little calm, a break in thoughts rushing in a sweeping stream.

Relieving stress after a quarrel with alcohol may seem like a tempting idea, especially for those for whom the showdown ended in a breakup, but resorting to this option is undesirable. Negative feelings will not be lived through, but pushed deep into the psyche, problems will not be solved, but the physical and mental state may worsen.

Keep in mind that quarrels are a normal process for relationships. If it is easy for us to always remain friendly with unfamiliar people, then this is only due to the short time of contact and common claims, and even then, if someone encroaches on what is significant for you, then a showdown cannot be avoided. In close relationships, quarrels are an indicator of closeness and the process of grinding to each other, who how this period passes depends on the mental characteristics and capabilities of people, but there are no relationships without quarrels. The only thing that can please you here is that a person who is not indifferent to you makes claims, swears and tries to do good. We do not waste our neurons on the indifferent.