Helps to make the right decision. How to make a decision when in doubt? Descartes Square for Decision Making, Jose Silva's Glass of Water Method, and Other Proven, Working Techniques
The philosopher Jean Buridan lived in France in the 14th century. He composed a lot. But he was remembered by posterity for his parable about a donkey that starved to death due to the fact that out of two identical armfuls of hay, he could not choose the one with which it was better to start. Don't we look like such asses when we are trying to make an important decision?
Our expert - psychologist Marianna Gorskaya.
From early childhood to the end of our days, we are forced to live in a state of constant choice. What to wear: blue dress or red? Which of the fans to prefer: reliable or witty? Where to go to study: in a prestigious university or somewhere easier? Which job to choose: profitable or interesting? And so it is in everything. How one does not want to make a mistake when the choice concerns really significant things!
A million torments
The easiest way in this regard is for fatalists and nihilists. You swim at the behest of the waves - where fate will taxi, and you don’t know trouble. Which dress hangs closer - then you need to wear it. Which of the suitors will be more persistent - for that and marry. Which of the employers will show more interest - I will get it. People with developed intuition also live well, as well as those who consider themselves to be such, and therefore are convinced that their choice is always infallible. All the rest suffer, doubt, despair and wonder how global decisions can be made, relying on ephemeral intuition or the blind will of fate! However, it is precisely in this approach, condemned by many, that, according to psychologists, there is often great wisdom in life. After all, all the options for a possible development of events cannot be calculated, so sometimes it’s better to just trust your sixth sense or even rely on a Russian chance. And then act according to circumstances.But before taking the final step, it would be nice to weigh everything properly. And only if, after much thought, the answer did not come by itself - then you can connect your intuition or take risks.
Comprehensive approach
There are many rational decision-making methods. For example, there is a well-known psychological trick: write down on a sheet of paper in two columns the pros and cons of one or another choice, and then decide by a simple mathematical calculation which one is more profitable. There is also a more advanced way. It's called Descartes' square. This way of making a decision is ideal when you have to choose whether to take a life-changing step or to leave things as they are. For example, this method can be used to decide whether to divorce your husband or not, change jobs or stay the same, take a mortgage or not, put up with your mother-in-law or not communicate with her until the end of your days. The essence of this simple technique is to look at the situation more broadly, not from one or two, but from four different angles. To do this, you need to divide a sheet of paper into 4 columns and answer 4 questions:
- What will happen if this happens? (Pros of getting what you want.)
- What happens if this doesn't happen? (Pros of not getting what you want.)
- What will NOT happen if this happens? (Cons of getting what you want.)
- What will NOT happen if this does NOT happen? (Cons of not getting what you want.)
Indeed, often we consider only the pros and cons of the onset of a possible event, but do not take into account the positive and negative aspects of the “status quo”. A comprehensive assessment avoids unreasonable risk. And then you will not have to endure unfortunate losses that could have been easily avoided. We wish you less mistakes!
When people share the worst decisions they have made in their lives, they often refer to the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctive emotions: passion, fear, greed.
Our life would be completely different if Ctrl + Z were active in life, which would cancel the decisions made.
But we are not slaves of our mood. Instinctive emotions tend to become dull or completely disappear. Therefore, folk wisdom recommends that in the case when you need to make an important decision, it is better to go to sleep. Good advice, by the way. It won't hurt to take note! Although for many solutions one sleep is not enough. We need a specific strategy.
One of the effective tools that we would like to offer you is strategy for success at work and in life from Susie Welch(Suzy Welch) - former editor-in-chief of the Harvard Business Review, popular author, television commentator and journalist. It is called 10/10/10 and involves making decisions through the prism of three different time frames:
- How will you feel about it 10 minutes later?
- What will you think about this decision after 10 months?
- What will be your reaction to this in 10 years?
By focusing our attention on these deadlines, we distance ourselves some distance from the problem of our making an important decision.
Now let's look at the effect of this rule on an example.
Situation: Veronica has a boyfriend Cyril. They have been dating for 9 months, but their relationship can hardly be called ideal. Veronika claims that Kirill is a wonderful person, and in many ways he is exactly who she has been looking for throughout her life. However, she is very worried that their relationship is not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and. She does not have an endless amount of time to develop a relationship with Kirill, who is under 40. During these 9 months, she never met Cyril's daughter from her first marriage, and in their couple the cherished “I love you” never sounded from either side.
The divorce from his wife was terrible. After that, Cyril decided to avoid a serious relationship. In addition, he keeps his daughter away from his personal life. Veronica understands that he is in pain, but she is also offended that such an important part of her beloved's life is closed to her.
Veronica knows that Cyril does not like to rush into decisions. But should she then herself take the step and say “I love you” first?
The girl was advised to use the 10/10/10 rule, and this is what came of it. Veronica was asked to imagine that right now she has to decide whether she confesses her love to Cyril on the weekend or not.
Question 1: How will you react to this decision after 10 minutes?
Answer:“I think I would be worried, but at the same time proud of myself that I took a chance and said it first.”
Question 2: What would you think of your decision if 10 months had passed?
Answer:“I don't think I'll regret it 10 months later. No, I will not. I sincerely want everything to work out. Who does not take risks, then does not drink champagne!
Question 3: How do you feel about your decision 10 years later?
Answer:“Regardless of how Cyril reacts, in 10 years the decision to declare love first is unlikely to matter. By that time, either we'll be happy together, or I'll be in a relationship with someone else."
Notice the 10/10/10 rule works! As a result, we have quite a simple solution:
Veronica has to take the lead. She will be proud of herself if she does this, and sincerely believes that she will not regret what she did, even if nothing works out with Cyril in the end. But without a conscious analysis of the situation according to the 10/10/10 rule, making an important decision seemed extremely difficult for her. Short-term emotions—fear, nervousness, and fear of rejection—were distractions and deterrents.
What happened to Veronica after, you might ask. She did say "I love you" first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation, and stop feeling in limbo. Cyril did not confess his love to her. But progress was on the face: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her, that he just needs a little more time to overcome his own and confess the reciprocity of feelings. In her opinion, the chances that they will be together are up to 80%.
Eventually
The 10/10/10 rule helps you win on the emotional side of the game. The feelings that you are experiencing now, at this moment, seem rich and sharp, and the future, on the contrary, is vague. Therefore, the emotions experienced in the present are always in the foreground.
The 10/10/10 strategy forces you to change the angle of your vision: to consider a moment in the future (for example, in 10 months) from the same point of view that you are looking at in the present.
This method allows you to put your short-term emotions into perspective. It's not that you should ignore them. Often they even help you get what you want in a given situation. But you must not let your emotions get the better of you.
It is necessary to remember the contrast of emotions not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you intentionally avoid a serious conversation with your boss, you are letting your emotions get the best of you. If you imagine the possibility of having a conversation, then after 10 minutes you will be just as nervous, and after 10 months - will you be glad that you decided to have this conversation? Breathe easy? Or will you feel proud?
But what if you want to reward the work of a great employee and are going to offer him a promotion: will you doubt the correctness of your decision in 10 minutes, will you regret what you did 10 months later (suddenly other employees will feel left out), and will it Will the promotion make any difference to your business 10 years from now?
As you can see short-term emotions are not always harmful. The 10/10/10 rule suggests that looking at emotions in the long run is not the only correct one. It only proves that the short-term feelings you experience cannot be at the head of the table when you make important and responsible decisions.
The life of each of us is an endless stream of decisions. You constantly have to choose: what to buy, how to spend the evening, which profession to choose, which deal to accept and which to reject, etc.
Fortunately, in most cases, making the right decision is fairly easy. Our subconscious does not have to spend a lot of time choosing one of the options, since it is definitely better. But there are situations when it is not clear which of the chosen options will bring more benefit and less harm.
Remember the legendary movie "The Matrix" when Morpheus offered Neo to choose one of the pills. From the outside it may seem that choosing freedom and life in reality was easier and more correct than forgetting everything and continuing to exist in a fairy tale. In fact, most people choose the other side in their lives.
But we digress a little from the topic. So, there are situations when it is not easy to make the right decision. Each of the possible options has a lot of pluses and even more minuses that we would not like to receive. In addition, each of the options will have a lot of consequences that we could not even imagine.
2 approaches to decision making
There are two ways that can help us make a choice. We have used each of them in our lives, simply, someone chooses one more often, someone uses the second more often.
1. When to enable logic?
Careful consideration of possible options and their consequences is characteristic of making logical decisions. Using this approach, we can weigh the pros and cons, analyze the possible benefits and losses of each of the possible options.
The logical approach is best used in situations where there are many inputs and most of the consequences are easily predictable. As a rule, this approach is better applied in business and in any other business areas of life, in cases where the possible risks are very high.
2. When to use intuition?
Often we find ourselves in a situation where it is almost impossible to imagine the further development of events. There is no past experience corresponding to such situations, and there is no way to extract and analyze information from other sources. And you need to make a decision quickly, because "delay is like death."
In this case, there is nothing left but to listen to your intuition and not make a quick and unambiguous choice. Still, we will not be able to build any accurate forecasts.
The need to make such decisions almost always arises in personal life and in everything related to human feelings and emotions.
Regardless of which approach you tend to take more often, I recommend following these five principles to help you make the right decision:
Principle 1. Never rely on "maybe". Always make your own decision.
Don't wait for things to work out on their own or for someone else to do it for you. Indecisiveness is also a decision, but in this case you are no longer in control of the situation, therefore you are not in control of your life. Often people put off making a decision until there are no alternatives worthy of attention, and this is no longer a decision.
Consciously making a decision, however unpleasant, will prepare you in advance to accept its consequences and, most likely, it will be easier for you to cope with its negative consequences. Or maybe you can even find a way to get rid of some of the problems associated with it.
Principle 2. Make a decision quickly.
Postponing the decision for later, we tend to raise our bet in this game. As a rule, intuition tells us the best ways, but intuition only works for a short time, then all your past experience, fears, doubts and other nonsense that the brain is loaded with comes into play. All this only clutters up our consciousness and encourages us to make mistakes.
The sooner you can make your choice, the more time you have to prepare for its negative consequences. There will be time to “lay straw”, as a result, you will be able to get more out of the path you have chosen.
Principle 3. Once you've made your decision, take action immediately and don't stop.
Nothing delays the achievement of goals like procrastination. Once you postpone the implementation of your decisions, it will not be difficult for you to postpone them in the future, and this is fraught with the fact that you will never achieve the goals for which the decision was made. Often, what we thought about and decided to do is forgotten after a few days. The long box has not been canceled yet - it is in it that all our greatest achievements are stored.
Principle 4. Do not change your decision half way to the result.
Achieving any result takes time and effort. It makes no sense to expect that the result will come easily and quickly. And if you constantly change your decisions, then all this will look like Brownian motion (chaotic movement of the molecules of a substance, in which the substance itself does not move anywhere) and no result will definitely come.
Drive it into your head - you can get the result only by reaching the end.
If you have made a decision to become rich, then act to the end. If you decide in a week that it is difficult and it is better to become healthy. Stop saving money and start eating right. After another week, you will stop eating vegetables, because. you want a barbecue, and decide to be beautiful by playing sports. Then you can continue on your own.
Principle 5. The most important. Never regret your decision.
Often people believe that they made the wrong decision. It was necessary to act differently. The trick is that you can never know if you did the right thing, because. check is impossible. Always consider your choice as the only correct one.
For example, you bought a car, and a week later its engine broke down. The first thought - it was necessary to buy another, but, on the other, at the most inopportune moment, the brakes could fail. What would be better?
In fact, it is not difficult to make the right decision, it is much more difficult to take responsibility for its consequences! Follow these rules, they will help you and get outstanding results.
Good luck, Dmitry Zhilin
Useful articles:
How to make money on the Internet for a beginner - 23 ...
What is a blog, how to create it, promote it and how ...
How to speed up the loading of site pages and reduce ...
DDoS attack - what is it? How to Find Sources and Protect...
Every day we have to make dozens of decisions - to do this or that, to agree or refuse.
And almost every time this is accompanied by doubts, worries and postponing the decision.
So how make the right decision and learn how to make the right choice?
Here are 10 ways.
1 - Just make the decision that you like.
According to statistics, 7 decisions out of 10 leaders of large companies turn out to be erroneous. 40% of the companies that were included in the list of the world's 500 best companies 20 years ago no longer exist.
Even the most successful and experienced people make mistakes very often.
So relax, make a decision and start acting.
You need to understand that while you are thinking, you are standing still and wasting time.
You are not a sapper for whom any mistake is fatal.
Even if you make a mistake, you have a second, third, and any number of attempts. Plus, every time you do something, you gain knowledge, experience and better understand how to make the right choice.
2 - Determine the price of your solution.
What happens if you do this or that and the choice is wrong? Write down possible outcomes and make a decision based on that. But you should know that a decision with minimal consequences often produces weak results.
For strategic objectives, it is a good idea to write down the possible consequences of your decision. With Canva, you can create an online decision tree that will help you visualize possible alternatives and make it easier to make the right decision. - https://www.canva.com/ru_ru/grafik/derevo-resheniy/
3 - Determine the best result - What decision will move you the most forward? In life, those who strive for more win. And those who are afraid to take risks are content with ordinary life. Think it might be worth the risk sometimes. Yes, you can lose more. But you can get more. And even if you fail, you can always go back to another solution. So hold on. Success loves the brave.
4 - Ask your subconscious - most people try to make a decision based on logic. But its capabilities are limited by the amount of information that is in the mind.
Use your subconscious. In the evening, think about your problem and possible solutions. And before going to bed, ask yourself - Which solution to choose?
And in the morning you will wake up with a clear understanding of what needs to be done.
All our experiences are stored in our subconscious. And we get access to it only in a dream. Plus, the subconscious can connect to a single information field of the universe. Remember, Mendeleev opened his table in a dream.
So ask your subconscious mind and go to sleep. Learn more about this technique in this video.
5 - Do something- to make the right decision you need to have certain information. But where can I get it? Books, videos, articles are just theory. The information you need will be given only by practical experience, which can only be obtained by doing something.
When in doubt or choosing from multiple options, just do something about each option. And you will immediately understand which solution is best for you.
6 - Ask a more successful person - Such a person can help you in just 5 minutes. He knows and knows more than you. Look for successful people in your environment. Sign up for training. Ask your question on a thematic forum or group. The only thing is you don't have to ask everyone. Listen only to those who really solved problems similar to yours and have real life experience of overcoming them. But if there is no such person, then
7 - Imagine being a super hero- Put yourself in the place of a person who is a symbol of confidence and success for you. And think about what decision he would choose.
Often, internal fears and doubts interfere with making a decision. When you imagine yourself as a super hero, all this disappears and making a decision becomes much easier.
8 - Expand the number of options - Often people choose from 2-3 options. But there are many more solutions. Collect information, ask friends, think about other solutions. Such work will allow you to better understand the situation, expand your consciousness and allow you to choose the most balanced decision.
9 - Let your brain sort things out - modern man decides a lot on the run, on emotions, in the mode of lack of time.
But if you take a day of rest, calm down, stop thinking a lot, then a lot becomes clear and the decision is chosen by itself.
There is a good expression morning is wiser than evening. So just switch off from the problem, do something pleasant and make a decision with a fresh mind.
10 - Write down the pros and cons and compare
Choose 2-3 options and write each one on a separate sheet. And make a list of pros and cons. This clarifies a lot and it immediately becomes clear to you which solution is more profitable for you.
That's all.
But remember, a decision is not a decision until you act on it.
And to make it easier for you to act, here are 50 step-by-step instructions