Be a good mother to a child. How to be a good mom? The bond between mother and child. Deception on deception: what is more important gender politics or money

To bear the proud title of mother, it is not enough just to give life to a child. You need to become a real friend, colleague, adviser to the baby, so that you can confidently say that you are a good mother. In order to achieve this goal, you need to constantly work on yourself, because this task is not an easy one.

Remember your childhood

In order to earn the title of "good mother", you just need to remember your own childhood. Surely, as a child, you loved, respected and appreciated your parents. not a single family, even the strongest and most friendly, can do without insults and misunderstandings.

A smart mother should first of all note for herself those educational methods of her parents that she considers successful and effective. A skillful combination of severity and affection, encouragement and punishment, freedom and prohibitions. But do not go too far. As a child, you probably felt injustice at some points. It is foolish to think that over time everything will be forgotten, because it is childhood memories that are considered the brightest and strongest. Learn from the mistakes of your parents and do not repeat them in raising your own children.

Make time for your child

Long gone are the days when the role of women in society was limited to maintaining the hearth and raising children. You can argue for a long time about whether it’s bad, but one thing is clear: in the modern fast pace of life, women devote less and less time to communicating with babies.

A good mother should (no, she simply must) devote as much time as possible to her child, teach him something new, share happy moments with him, talk to him about everything in the world. And the point here is not only that the baby needs to feel the warmth and attention of the parents. Think about yourself too. Every day, precious time is irrevocably gone, and the child grows up. Soon he will have his friends, his affairs, his secrets, and he will not be at all up to you. A smart mother can maintain warm and friendly relations with her children throughout her life.

Have more family nights

It is very important for a child to feel in a warm family circle. It would be ideal to spend every evening together, eating a delicious and warm dinner, watching your favorite comedies, reading books aloud, and so on. Unfortunately, not all families have such an opportunity, but a good mother will always find a way out.

Every evening, spend at least half an hour doing joint activities with your child. Involve him in cooking dinner, do homework together, mold something from plasticine or draw a postcard. But for general family gatherings, you can allocate a separate day. Let it be, for example, every Sunday or the first of every month. Let mom and dad, and grandparents be at home this evening. Arrange fun tea parties and family concerts.

Be equal with your child

The best mother is the one who knows how to talk with the child on an equal footing. This does not mean that you need to lisp with the baby and fall into childhood. It is important to let the child feel that you respect him and consider him.

Leave the command tone (unless, of course, we are talking about excessive whims and pranks). Imagine that you are talking not with your child, but, for example, with a friend. Talk to the baby in such a tone as if he is already an adult, try to explain everything to him and answer questions.

Eye contact plays a big role. Don't look down on your child. Yes, you have a significant height, but you need to be able to smooth it out. For example, when starting a serious conversation, sit so that you are at the same level as the baby. So that you can look each other in the face, reading its smallest intonations. This will help you understand each other better.

Let nothing distract you

Modern parents do not have enough free time to be with their child. However, a loving mother should set aside at least one day or at least a few hours a week to be alone with her baby. It can be joint creative activities, walks or cultural events.

But it often happens that mothers are distracted by telephone conversations, correspondence on the Internet, or chatting with friends. You may not notice, but the child is very upset and offended. Nothing will happen if you turn off your mobile for a couple of hours or lie to a friend you met on the street that you are in a hurry. But the child will certainly appreciate your presence and warmth and will know that you are the best mother in the world.

Don't shout or swear

Children very often play pranks and show disobedience. Sometimes they can commit a serious offense without realizing it. Most parents raise a cry, reacting to the faults of the child. In such a situation, the baby is simply lost, not understanding where his loving mother has gone. Sometimes parents lose control of themselves so much that children simply begin to be afraid of them.

It is impossible to achieve mutual understanding and good behavior by shouting. Think about whether it is worth making noise when the child, after all, you will not be angry with yourself in a similar situation. Is it necessary to swear when the child does not obey, because explanations and arguments spoken in a strict but calm tone will sound much more convincing. In addition, not always the bad behavior of the baby can be explained by his bad character. Perhaps we should show it to a child psychologist.

Every time you decide to raise your voice at a child, remember that his behavior is solely the result of your upbringing.

Praise and encourage your child

Each person should have an incentive for development, success and the right actions. For a child, such an incentive is the praise of parents. It is wrong if you notice every fault or misstep of the baby, and his achievements go unnoticed.

Do not skimp on affectionate words and praise for your child if he has done something good or achieved certain successes. Thus, the child develops a personality, as well as an idea of ​​\u200b\u200bright actions. Also, do not forget to periodically encourage the child for some significant achievements. So, commemorate a well-written test or contest win with a nice gift or a family trip to a coffee shop.

Learn to speak and listen

Up to a certain age, parents do not perceive their children as serious, full-fledged individuals, preferring not to start a thorough conversation with them and not paying much attention to baby talk. But in vain. It is at such a young age, when the consciousness of the baby is just being formed, that he really needs a warm parting word that his dear good mother will tell him.

Wondering mom, you need, first of all, in place of the child. How does he live, what are his hobbies, what does he see and hear around him, how do his parents treat him? Only in this way can you fully realize your mistakes and take the right path in raising a child. Remember that it is in childhood that personality and perception of the world are formed. The future of your child depends on you.

Is in a panic, because they do not know at all what to do with this child. But over time, the situation changes dramatically, and parental self-confidence “I know everything, you don’t need to tell me anything” replaces panic.

Believe me, from time to time we all should be reminded of the simplest things that we forget about in the daily bustle, or, following a blind desire to keep up with the schedule, and do everything in time. That is why we have put together a few reminder tips for you on how you can become even better for your child.

How to be a good mom: 33 rules for every day

1. Tell your child "I love you" as often as possible. There are never many declarations of love.

2. Show your child that his hugs mean a lot to you and can fix a lot of adult problems. Just ask your child to hug you when you are having a hard time.

3. At dinner, ask your child what good things happened during the day.

4. Make sure your child hears you praising him in front of other people.

5. Compliments! It is important not only to compliment children, but also to teach children to say nice words to other people.

6. Kiss and hug your child whenever possible.

7. Teach your child to laugh. Even over himself. Teach him not to take himself too seriously. Explain that everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone can laugh at it, not everyone can take their mistakes with a sense of humor.

8. Say "thank you" to your child. This is how you teach him to be grateful.

9. Farewell. Learn to forgive others yourself and explain to your child that anger eats away at someone who is angry.

10. Spend a day with your child. With him alone.

11. Let the child be himself, even if his emotions or reactions are not to your liking.

12. Wake your child up in the morning with a smile. Just like that: with a smile and a kiss.

13. Listen to him when he wants to tell you something. Treat this as the most important conversation of your life.

14. Ask the children's opinion on various issues that concern the family.

15. Trust them to do some work for which they are even afraid to take on. They have many more challenges in their lives.

16. Ask them for help.

17. Admit your mistakes. This will teach the child to relate more easily to his mistakes. He will understand that not only he makes mistakes.

18. Surprise the kids. It doesn't have to be gifts. There are tons of ways to make a surprise without being portable on it and a penny.

19. Pay attention to the little things. Remember the names of your friends. Even the names of toys are important for babies.

20. Make your child feel special by giving them a cute and unique nickname.

21. Occasionally instead of a bedtime story, tell a story from your life.

22. Dance together.

23. Come up with a secret family password or handshake.

24. Let me fool around sometimes: scatter cotton wool around the room instead of snow or paint the sun with paints on the floor

25. Do crafts with your child.

26. Break the rules. Sometimes let the child watch cartoons until late or sleep in the parent's bed.

27. Don't forget to apologize if you were wrong about something.

28. Let your child make decisions. This will make him feel important and significant.

29. Be easy-going: "Come on, you're not going to the choir today, but instead we'll have a picnic in the park."

30. Keep your promises.

31. Sing along when your child sings.

32. Tell your child about his father, that he is the best.

33. Keep every card or decoration your child has made for you. Show him how much you appreciate each such gift.

We hope these tips will be useful to you and will make your relationship with your child even stronger and more trusting.

Son ... A mother who has a boy has a rather weighty burden of responsibility - to raise a real man. Well, or to begin with, to figure out how it works, especially its brain. Boys are not easy people, and you need to know the approach to them.

Therefore, I propose to adopt the advice from the book “Synology. Mother raising sons” psychologist and father of two sons Nigel Latta. This book is good because, in addition to a detailed analysis of boyish physiology, thinking and upbringing, there is still room for humor and self-irony.

Tips for those who want to be a cool mom for their son

What I am about to tell you is not scientifically proven facts, and if they were confirmed, then definitely not by me. This is a general guide on how to be a cool mom. You have every right not to follow these recommendations. I can't guarantee they will help. You can do them, and your son will still not consider you cool. But I can guarantee that if you still do as I advise, you will both have fun. You don't need to do this all the time, as you will quickly get tired, and he will grow up completely wild.

Seek my advice only from time to time. I am not giving you a balanced diet, but cotton candy. Potentially, these are the best moments of your communication. You can rely on them to come up with something of your own. I'm sure you'll come up with a lot of interesting ideas along the way.

Following these tips won't help you become friends because he doesn't need you as a friend. He will find his own friends. He needs you like a mother. These tips are just the little things you can do to make him think his mom is cool. Dividing them into three stages of growing up, I present you with tips on how to become a cool mom.

Toddlers (2-6 years old)

It's easy with kids. All you have to do is just get out of bed in the morning. However, there are things that you can surprise him with, and then he will decide that you are the best. This will not last long, sooner or later you will have to earn his approval by more complex methods. For now, you just need to be fun.

1. Periodically eat dessert before the first course.
2. Help him build a hut.
3. When he is inside, knock over the hut and scream that you are a hurricane mom.
4. Jump with him through the puddles.
5. Let him walk through the puddles until his clothes get wet.
6. Watch cool cartoons together and eat popcorn.
7. Periodically go out with him for a walk after dark.
8. Teach him wrestling techniques (watch them on YouTube).
9. Start water battles.
10. Encourage him to climb high objects.
11. Sometimes buy sweet, fatty, unusual food.
12. Go to museums and surprise him with your knowledge about dinosaurs (Google is your friend).
13. Put the music on full volume and dance.
14. Follow him around the house.
15. Grab it and throw it on the couch (some care is required here, but toddlers love it).
16. From time to time, let him create a mess in the house.
17. Let him mess around in the mud.
18. Fight him with swords (if you don't have real swords, roll them out of newspapers).
19. Go on adventures (hiking) in the wildest places you can find.
20. Remember that a boy's room requires a certain level of clutter to please him.
21. Help him build from the constructor - not all the time, but only when he is in the mood to play together.
22. Draw his mustache and beard. Let him do the same on your face.
23. Laugh more.
24. Tell him jokes.
25. Sing fun songs.
26. Call him funny names like Slick Slick or Fruity Beggar.
27. Hug and kiss him.

Big Boys (7–11 years old)

In these important years, try to solidify your position as a tough mom. The clouds of preteen years are gathering on the horizon, and you will have to work hard to earn a few extra points before the hurricane hits. Many of the tips for toddlers work for big boys as well.

1. Joint puddle jumping is still quoted, but be careful: in one moment everything can change in his eyes, and this fun will become "kindergarten".
2. Give him hammers, nails and saws so that he can build a hut.
3. Bury him up to his neck in the sand.
4. Watch cool movies and eat popcorn.
5. Arrange water battles and sometimes allow yourself and him junk food.
6. Go to museums and listen to him tell you about the amazing things he has already learned. Then tell him he's wrong and come up with something very out of the ordinary.
7. Turn on the music at full volume and dance.
8. Allow him to play pranks from time to time and do things that are usually forbidden.
9. Treat the clutter in his room as natural.
10. Let him arrange his room (or his corner in the nursery) the way he wants.
11. Help him build models of airplanes, boats and spaceships.
12. Let him ride his bike further and further away from home.
13. Let him break something from time to time. Any old unnecessary thing will do. Boys love to break.
14. Make comments to him no more than ten words long.
15. Ask for his opinion.
16. Laugh heartily together.
17. Sing stupid songs.
18. Tell jokes and laugh at his jokes.
19. Hug and kiss him as often as possible, but try not to do it at school or in front of his friends.

The main thing in dealing with big boys (besides fun, noise and chaos) is to allow them to do increasingly dangerous things (within reason, of course). Let them walk, climb somewhere and jump from there as much as you can bear. If you believe in their ability to navigate the world, they will begin to believe in themselves and think you are cool.

Teenagers (12 years and older)

I'm afraid there's not much you can do to make your teenage son think you're cool. On the contrary, he will think that you are the perfect "saw" and constantly make him blush. However, you can still behave in such a way that in the future, when he remembers this time, he understands that you were actually very cool.

1. Don't try to be cool or be friends with him. It will only confuse those around you.
2. When his friends come, let them go about their business.
3. Play your favorite music loud sometimes, even if he hates it.
4. Invite your friends. Have fun, chat, laugh. Lead your own cool life.
5. If possible, watch movies together and eat popcorn.
6. If he is ready for this, go on a trip together.
7. One day, when he does something catastrophically stupid and is sure that he will hear a boring lecture on how to behave properly, do not reprimand him. Instead, nod and say, “Well, it happens. I hope this serves as a lesson to you." And that's all.
8. Let him make important decisions on his own.
9. As long as his room doesn't pose a biological threat, close the door and let him live like that.
10. Seriously. A clean floor and a made bed are not worth mutual quarrels.
11. From time to time, let him go where you didn’t let him in before, and allow him to do things that he thought you would never allow.
12. Ask for his opinion, and if he answers you, listen.
13. Hug and kiss him whenever possible, even if you have to do it suddenly.
14. Have the wisdom of granite (that is, remember that over time everything will fall into place).

The last point is the most important. Most likely, your son will be rude and irritable as a teenager, but if you begin to think sensibly and believe that one day he will cope with all this, he will definitely remember it.
“My mother was very cool,” he will say one day.
- Yes? And what did she do?
- I do not know. Maybe she just always trusted me.

The birth of a child changes everything. The mother begins to feel the deepest responsibility for the new life she has brought into the world. Maternal instinct is one thing. But the child is growing and more and more often we think about how to be a good mother. After all, no one teaches this anywhere, and if they do, they contradict each other and, go and figure out who to believe and what to do right so that the child grows up healthy and happy. Of course, we have guidelines, say the behavior of our own parents, educational films, good books, advice from pediatricians and teachers, but that's all. But we need much more - accurate knowledge of how to become the best mother in the world for a child. Where is this art to comprehend?

What responsibility does motherhood impose on us?
Why is it important to be a good mom?
Why do children often misbehave and we can't handle them?
How to become a truly good mother for a child: both son and daughter?

Our desire to become a good mother for our child is dictated by many different reasons. Often very deeply internal, which we ourselves are not aware of. And if everything is clear with the maternal instinct in infancy - the main thing is to eat, sleep and poop, then questions begin, followed by the following questions and so on, ad infinitum.

We want to be proud of our children, we want our children to grow up to be successful people. We understand that in the future, in old age, we will depend on them, so it would be good if the child becomes responsible and feels a sense of duty, knows how to love and compassion. And, of course, we want happiness for our children - so that they know how to live, rejoice life and suffer less.

How to achieve all this? When we see a wayward kid in front of us, with his desires, which he is ready to defend in all ways available to him: tantrums, blackmail, deceit, stubbornness, screams and even threats.

It is very important to understand who this is - this is the best mother in the world. The one that can instill the best education, develop its qualities, teach you to live in harmony with yourself. Of course, other family members, peers, and school also play a role in the future. But still, the beginning of everything, the foundation and basis - this is mom.

The desire to become a good mother for a child is a wonderful desire for any woman. Another question is that often in pursuit of this desire, we act in reverse: we shout at the child, punish him, sometimes even beat him, force him to study, or, conversely, let everything go by itself, allowing the child everything he wants. We gradually begin to understand that the opportunity to become the best mother in the world eludes us. The main thing is to never give up and not wave your hand at yourself and the child. But there will be no other opportunity, you can act only here and now.

Deception on deception: what is more important gender politics or money?

Today, there are many materials for moms who strive for excellence. All sorts of books and videos, advice from educators and pediatricians, the experience of our own mothers, good groups in social networks- all this becomes a help that can and should be used to become the best mother in the world.

The problem is that in all this diversity there is a lot of things that confuse us, and therefore lead us away from the truth. For example, all the speculation about the gender division of children. Allegedly, a boy cannot be fully raised by a single mother, or a girl should spend more time with her father in order to become a good wife in the future. After reading such materials and plunging into many fears about the future of our children, who seem to be deprived of something, fears begin to eat us. How to become the best mother for a son? How to give your daughter what she needs to develop? etc.

In fact, it is the mother that is primary for the child. A developed, realized woman is naturally able to give a child enough for full development.

Or, another example, there are now a lot of materials on the Internet that a good mother will never buy something cheap for her child, but is simply obliged to buy such and such food or diapers, because they are better, cleaner, more correct. Without knowing it, we fall for the bait of those who have no desire to really help us become the best mother in the world, but just want to sell their product and get a benefit.
That is, the topic "how to become the best mother for children" is a method of manipulation. And in order not to fall for them, all that is needed is to understand exactly what, how and why it is necessary for my child. And it's all.

How to become the best mom in the world?

In fact, it takes a lot more than shopping to become the best mom in the world.

To be a good mother is to be able to deeply understand the desires and characteristics of the psyche of your children. And already on this basis, it is possible to build just such an upbringing, educational and developing environment that is ideal for the development and formation of the personality of a new little man.

It only seems from the outside that all children, like people, are the same, in fact they are radically different. It is even more mistaken to think that our children will like what we ourselves like, their parents - our child is far from being a clone of ourselves, he is a new person and he may have a completely different psychological nature.

Today, other times have come - our children belong to a new generation that needs unique development from the cradle. And in order to become the best mother for her son and daughter, a woman must know her child in his characteristics and desires. System-vector thinking in this regard has already served thousands of women.