How to tell your husband about debt in loans. How to confess to your husband in the financial problems of the family? How to make sure that the debt on the loan does not become the debt of the ex-wife

Many parents do everything they can to help their child when they are in a desperate situation. They are ready to sacrifice their time, energy and money for the sake of their child. If you need money and you know for sure that your parents have it, you can politely ask your parents for it, explaining to them what you want to spend it on. If you are grateful and try to be good, you will set a great precedent for the future, and your parents will certainly give you money if you ever need it again.

Steps

Preparing for a conversation

Think about your past accomplishments. Are you completely dependent on your parents or are you quite independent and independent? Your parents will be more willing to give you money if they know that you are a fairly independent person. If you have already asked for money several times, but at the same time you do not help your parents around the house at all, it is unlikely that they will want to give you money.

• If you have nothing to brag about in this regard, do not rush to approach your parents with a request. If you live with your parents, you can cook dinner, wash your car, or do other housework.
• If you do not live with your parents, communicate with them regularly. Pay attention to your parents. Agree, it will be very unpleasant for parents if you turn to them only when you need money.

1. Explain the reason. If the reason is compelling enough, your parents are more likely to give you money. Think about why you need money. If your parents know that they can help you, especially in a difficult situation, they will be happy to lend you money.

   • For example, let's say you need money to buy a new computer. Your parents will be more willing to give you money for a computer if you tell them it will help you succeed in your new job or do better in school. If you simply say that you want a computer, your parents are unlikely to take your request seriously.
   • If you need money urgently, such as paying rent or buying food, be honest with them. Most likely, this will touch the heart of the parents, and they will be ready to help you.

2. Tell your parents that you have some money for the purchase you need. Parents are more willing to give you the second part if they know that you are also willing to donate your funds. Ask your parents to add the amount of money you need, for example, if you are going on vacation. Show your parents that you are working hard to buy what you need. They will certainly want to help you.

   Make reasonable requests. Decide exactly how much money you need and tell your parents about it. Parents shouldn't feel like you're using them, so tell them the exact cost of the item you want to buy. If you are honest with them, they may give you more money.

   Think about when you can give back the money. If you are asking for money as a loan rather than as a gift, your parents are more likely to lend you the money if you tell them when you will return it. Think about how long it will take you to save up the amount you need to pay off your debt. Whether it's in a month or a year, your parents should know about it.

   • Tell your parents when you will pay back the debt. In addition, you can pay off the debt in installments if the parents agree to this. This way, you won't have to repay the entire amount at once, and your parents will see that you keep your promise and gradually repay the debt.
   • If you don't plan to repay the debt, then don't tell your parents that you will. Be honest when talking about your intentions. If you ever find yourself in a difficult situation and you urgently need money, your parents will think thrice before giving it to you if you did not keep your promise.

Conversation with parents

1. Talk politely to your parents. Take time to sit down and talk to your parents about your problem. Explain to your parents that it is not easy for you to ask them for money, and that you are in a situation where you simply have to do it. Let your parents know about your visit in advance, do not discuss this problem over the phone or just casually in passing.

   State your plan. Depending on the amount, you may want to bring documents related to your request and show them to your parents. Show them that you have calculated the exact amount you need. Indicate how much money you have to buy and ask them for the remaining amount.

   • If you are asking for money for a particular item, look up its price online and print it out.
   • Tell your parents that you need money to get back on your feet. Tell them that if they give you a certain amount now, you can get back on your feet and you won't have to ask them for money again.
   • If you are going to ask for a loan, you may need to leave a receipt with your parents. This will show that you intend to keep your promise.

2. Make sure they can afford it. Most likely, you have a good idea about the financial condition of your parents. Ask them if they can give you the amount you need. They may tell you that they simply cannot afford it, or that they are only willing to provide a fraction of the amount needed.

   Get into their position. There may be several options for the development of an event. Your parents may say that they are only willing to give you a fraction of what you ask for, or that they can lend you money if you pay it back within a short time. It may upset or anger you. However, if you really want or need the money, you will agree to their terms.

   • It is possible that your parents will refuse you. If so, think about what you can do to prevent this from happening. Perhaps you could do some work in exchange for money? Make repairs, go shopping or in any other way show your attention to your parents.
   • If they are not ready to give you money, do not beg for them. Instead, try to find another way to get money. If your parents see your efforts and resourcefulness, most likely they will decide to help you.

3. Say "thank you". If your parents decide to give you money, it's in your best interest to say "thank you" to them. If you are already an adult, your parents are not required to support you financially, therefore, the money they give you is a gift. If you want to show how much you appreciate their attention to you, you could write them a thank you letter. Thanks to this, they will readily respond to your request in the future.

After the conversation

Be sure to return the debt to your parents if you promised to do so. It is likely that once you have the money in your pocket, you will be relieved knowing that you can pay for what you need. But do not forget that you need to save money to repay your parents. Seeing this, your parents will not regret giving you money. Also, when you can repay the debt, you will feel better.

Think about how to avoid this situation in the future. While there is nothing wrong with asking your parents for money, think about ways to avoid this situation in the future. You should feel independent and financially secure, without parental money. Even if your parents are willing to give you the right amount every time, do your best to earn enough money to meet your own needs. This (borrowing from parents) should not become a habit.

How to tell your husband about debts on loans- this question is often asked by women who find themselves in a debt hole and are unable to find a way out of a difficult situation. Silence in this case can lead to even greater financial difficulties (accumulation of fines and penalties), and recognition - to the destruction of the family. What to do in such a situation? How to tell your husband about the presence of debts, and how to resolve the issue of debt? Let's talk about this in detail.

Wife has loan debts - real stories

Many women after the wedding experience a shortage of funds and are forced to apply to banks or MFIs to apply for a loan. Money is used for various purposes - the purchase of household appliances, the purchase of clothing, personal care, and so on. In the future, the life situation changes, for example, a woman loses her job. The wife cannot cope with her obligations, cannot admit to her husband that she has debts and is increasingly mired in a financial hole.

The result is a stalemate. If you tell your husband, there will be a scandal and, possibly, a divorce. If nothing is done, when transferring the debt to collectors, the husband will still find out about the debts from outsiders.

Below we will consider three life situations in which the wife has debts on loans, and she cannot confess to her spouse about the circumstances.

The situation is difficult, but the only right decision for a woman is to confess everything to her husband. Psychologists give the following recommendations:

1. You should not worry about your life, because according to the law, debts are inherited. This means that you still have to talk to your husband and tell him about the loan. It is important to immediately determine the possible reactions and prepare for it psychologically, as well as build a line of defense. It is necessary to act in the presence of a clear plan of action.

The husband should know what the money is spent on. If they have been beneficial, the likelihood of a negative reaction is lower.

1. The conversation must begin when the first favorable situation appears. Both spouses must be in good spirits. Mandatory conditions are good physical condition, absence of pain, satiety and sexual satisfaction. Otherwise, communication should be postponed.
2. It is recommended to start the dialogue smoothly, using introductory phrases, for example, "I need your advice ...", "I have a situation in which your help is needed ..." and so on. After that, it is required to explain the essence of the act and motives.
3. You can not blame the husband for insufficient attention or money. This approach can lead to even more aggression. At this stage, all the blame should be put on yourself and complain about the natural female stupidity.

Knowing how to tell your husband about debts, you can avoid serious conflict and quarrels. In the future, the solution of the problem can be dealt with jointly.

How to make sure that the debt on the loan does not become the debt of the ex-wife

Financial conflicts often lead to quarrels between spouses, and sometimes end in divorce proceedings. To prevent this from happening, you need to take action and try to solve the debt problem.

Here are the paths:

1. If there are several loans, it is necessary to issue one large loan and pay off all small debts from the money received. In this case, it is easier to cope with debt obligations.
2. You can go to the bank and ask for a debt restructuring by submitting documents confirming the deterioration of the financial situation. Thanks to the revision of the schedule or the extension of the payment terms, it will be easier to pay off the debts of the spouses on loans.
3. Another option is to refinance in another bank. The bottom line is to find a financial institution that offers the best loan terms. For help in this matter, you can seek advice.

On the issue of debt, it is better not to hesitate, and immediately take measures to inform the spouse (if you cannot resolve the issue on your own). Together with her husband, it is easier to solve the problem and cover the loan debt.

08 Mar 2018

Anna T.

I can't tell my husband about my problems. And I can't get out of my financial problems. No body understands me. Feeling all alone in this world. Children do not obey me, only my husband.
Anna is 30 years old, married.

08 Mar 2018

Anna T.

Hello. My husband does not know about the financial problems of our family. I tried to constantly get out myself. She didn't tell him. Since he reacts so sensitively to everything and I did not want to upset him. I don't work, my husband works. I have children at home and absolutely everything and everything.

We have three children. The oldest is 4 years old. The middle one is 2 and younger. The eldest son absolutely does not want to obey me, only dad. In addition to the children and all the housework, I have everything to do. Husband just works. The rest is up to me to decide. When I feel bad, I just do not tell anyone anything. Because there is a feeling that no one understands me. I'm afraid that they will only scold and condemn. I've grown so much. What if something happened and told my parents or someone else, I only heard in response that it was my own fault, you yourself are so bad.

What I want from the consultation, to understand myself. Yes, and how to continue to live.

08 Mar 2018

Anna T.

Well, when you don't have enough money, you have to borrow. For example, my husband's parents were visiting and the car just broke down, it was necessary to rent it. There was absolutely no money, I had to borrow money. Some bills remain unpaid. And he wanted to please his parents in everything. Well, in general, something like that. It’s just that when I told him that there wasn’t enough money, he immediately started saying something like this. Where does the money go. But he himself does not follow the finances. Even has no idea how to go to the online bank and see or transfer money somewhere.

My mother sometimes helps me with children, but only on weekends, and it happens that if we took one or two children to my mother in the evening, then the next day they ask when you will come to pick them up. In the middle of the week I am always alone with them.

Financially only if I ask my mother for a loan, but I don’t want to ask. If it's already very hard, only then I ask.

08 Mar 2018

Anna T., good evening!
From your story it becomes clear that your husband does not earn enough to cover the expenses that you make.
You are afraid to tell him about it, debts are accumulating. It turns out that you cannot solve the problem without it, because you do not work.

It’s just that when I told him that there wasn’t enough money, he immediately started saying something like this.

Why can't you tell and show where they go?

08 Mar 2018

Anna T.

I don't spend money on myself. Rarely and sparingly. My expenses are groceries, refueling the car and paying all bills. Yes, debts are piling up. It all started with the purchase of one car, then the second, when my husband got a job, he immediately wanted a new car, and then we could afford it (loan). We had one child, housing is not expensive, as it was small. Then a second, a third was born, a large housing was needed. Big was more expensive. I'm afraid of his reaction, I'm afraid that he will begin to blame himself for everything. Yes, and he will say that I let him down, I do not manage my finances correctly. But of course, I have only myself to blame. I guess I'm always doing something wrong.

08 Mar 2018

I'm afraid of his reaction, I'm afraid that he will begin to blame himself for everything. Yes, and he will say that I let him down, I do not manage my finances correctly.

And what about guilt? Because you have 2 more children?
Well, you probably both understood that this would entail three times the amount of expenses than when there was one child?
Or does your husband feel that moving to a bigger apartment and having more kids doesn't increase the cost? So open your eyes...

Regarding financial management, this is also an important job. If your husband is not satisfied with how you do it, then let him do it himself.
You do not have to manage finances alone. Your husband is an adult and should not only earn money, but also manage it. He himself is responsible for his own life, as well as for the children.
It is important that the husband understands where the money goes. Otherwise. Of course, he will shift all the responsibility to you.

If you are afraid that he will blame himself for buying another car, then you can continue to be silent.
It just won't solve the problem...

An adult person knows how to be responsible for what he does, and if necessary, take some measures.

Maybe, for example, it is worth selling a second car, if now you cannot afford it?