Every person dreams of a real love, but most people live their lives like this without experiencing happiness and without understanding how it is to truly love? Many marry without love, believing that the main thing in life is family, wealth, fame and career. Of course, all this at the initial stage of family relationships leads to the satisfaction of desires, but over the years everyone realizes that money, wealth and fame are not what is needed for happiness. Then life is filled with emptiness and the feeling that it was impossible to treat the issue of creating a family so easily and marry without waiting for true love. Everyone needs it like air.

Of course, in youth not everyone can understand how to distinguish true and sincere love from another that quickly passes. In fact, not everyone can truly love, this is a special gift or art that needs to be learned and comprehended. Love is a feeling that comes as a gift to a person who has a rich inner world and a wonderful character. Selfish, selfish and arrogant people are not able to truly love. In order to understand if you are truly in love, you need to know the signs of true love that will help you recognize it among other superficial feelings that you will meet along your life path. And here they are:

1. strong attraction. If you don’t just like a person, but you suddenly began to notice something in his behavior that you are pleased to see how he smiles, moves, turns his head, speaks and behaves, then this is a sign of true love. True love is hot, passionate and painful. However, it should not be confused with that feeling of physical attraction to a partner, when you are waiting for a meeting, like a holiday, and you burn with impatience to see you sooner. This is only the initial stage of the development of relations, when the lovers do not yet experience deeper feelings for each other. They are brought together only by physical sensations, they are excited by touch and feel an increased heartbeat.

True love is based not only on physical attraction, but also on the spiritual. This is when you like a person not because he is handsome, slim and attractive, but when you are drawn to him as to a close and dear person. A truly in love person accepts a partner for who he is. If you notice that the person you like has flaws and you hope to correct him in the future, then this is a sign that you do not feel true love for him. True love is blind, your loved one becomes the best for you. You like everything about him, and the way he looks, and the way he behaves, and what he dreams about and talks about.

2. Another way of thinking. When you truly love, they make a person happy. He begins to think and think differently. A man in love enjoys life, begins to love himself and pushes his partner to this. If you are looking for ways to make your partner jealous, suffer and spend money on you, then this is not true love. True love is devoted and unselfish.

You will always strive to do everything possible to bring joy to your loved one. You will be primarily interested in what you can give, not what you can receive. A truly in love person is constantly looking for ways to solve the problems that a loved one has, and does not wait for him to make his life better. True love inspires a person to exploits, because of it a person's self-esteem rises and new plans for the future appear.

4. No Doubt. If, despite the fact that relatives and acquaintances tell you about the unseemly aspects of your partner's character, you do not pay any attention to this and you have no doubts about him, then this is a sign of true love. When you truly love, you idealize your partner and consider him the only one. There can be no doubt about what kind of husband or wife he will be.

Are you sure that you found that person, whom you have been looking for all your life and want to see him next to you all your life. You fully accept him for who he is and are ready to go with him to share with him everything that you have. You want to create a family with your loved one and have common children.

Throughout life, love visits us repeatedly, and always in a different guise. Often we are ready to believe that we have met our fate, and then we are defeated and disappointed. How do you know if you love a person or not? Many people ask this question, because happiness depends on it.

What if I'm in doubt?

Many people think that the very fact of doubt indicates the absence of love. Say, if you love, then such questions do not come to mind. Actually it is not. Even Descartes argued that doubts testify that we think, and therefore we exist.

Doubts are excluded when we are seized with passion or suffer from unrequited love. If even violent emotions have calmed down, people feel the need to assess their condition, to realize what they are experiencing in relation to another person.

And feelings are always contradictory. That's just the chosen one seemed the best, the one and only, but suddenly his careless word hurt painfully, resentment arose in his soul, and doubts appeared. So there is a need to understand whether you really love a person or not. Getting an answer is very important. Doubts do not allow building relationships, they slow down the development of events. After all ? Of course, on whether there is true love between the spouses.

Out of sight, out of mind?

One of the most reliable ways to test feelings is, unfortunately, separation. After mutual insults and violent quarrels, they become so heated that they decide to leave at least for a while. And here there are two options. Or after parting, you will feel relieved and in a few days you will forget about your ex-lover. You may be perplexed if everything is fine anyway, and life blooms with new colors without them.

Or you will begin to yearn, remembering the time spent together, the words of a loved one, his hugs. If you feel an urgent desire to immediately run to him and forgive everything, then there is no doubt: he is exactly the one you need.

Unfortunately, it may also happen that you begin to suffer without your chosen one due to the fact that you are dependent on him. In this case, your suffering will have a negative emotional connotation. In other words, you will feel hatred and annoyance at the fact that you are drawn to this person. And true love is associated with positive emotions.

What will the heart say?

You can often hear advice to trust your heart. But how to do that? How to distinguish a lot of opinions from the real? We are prevented from hearing the voice of the soul by attempts to rationalize what is happening. So it’s worth trying to turn off the assessment for a while and listen only to the emotional component. Just describe to yourself how you feel.

Often people make the mistake of considering love as something permanent and unchanging. In fact, the feelings we experience can change. It depends on resentment, on mood and sometimes even on fatigue. And only somewhere in the depths of the soul, where it is not so easy to look, true love lives, which neither parting, nor betrayal, nor other people's opinions can change.

The best way to understand whether you love a person or not is a conversation. Frank will allow you to better understand each other and discover new facets not only in your partner, but also in yourself. Conversation will help to release resentment and express what worries you.

Give your partner the same opportunity. Feel free to describe your feelings, but just do it carefully so as not to inadvertently cause a spiritual wound. Before you say anything, put yourself in the other person's shoes. If you were sincere, then your doubts will melt, and after them the irritation will also go away, and only the real will remain.

Love is what we can do, it makes it possible together with the chosen one. It gives strength and makes us kinder. But you need to fight for love, winning it back from insults and everyday problems. And this requires determination and faith that you have found your happiness.

• Friends! The topic of the next article is "" - category:. In order not to miss it, you can subscribe to the magazine's on-line newsletter by e-mail.

• We suggest you familiarize yourself with the full list of articles on the main page Cognitive magazine

How do you know if you love a person? Before figuring out how to understand whether you love a person or not, it is worth deciding on the concept of love in your personal perception system, the place reserved for it, effective and verbal manifestations, or perhaps only sensual self-perceptions. Love can be confused with passion, attachment, addiction, habit, a way to resolve psychological problems, and even with the consequences of complexes and psychotraumas received throughout life. The desire to be constantly near, to smell and touch the object of sympathy can be the beginning of love, or it can remain at this level, dictated by passion and pheromones.

The desire to please a person, to make his life easier, to help, to make him smile may indicate the presence of love. This can also include sincere feelings for the fate of a person - if you are indifferent to his successes or failures, or are only interested in one of these aspects, then you can hardly talk about a sincere interest in his fate. Remember that such signs separately cannot indicate a feeling of love, they can characterize both friendship and a warm attitude and a sense of duty - only a combination of many factors can say that this is love.

How to understand if you love a person or is it affection

Love is impossible without trust, and such a requirement is due not only to wishes, but also to the evolutionary course, when families began to be created, and not temporary unions for intercourse and procreation, a sense of trust became one of the priority qualities and self-perceptions next to a person. A similar model is also characteristic of the present time - no matter how it captures passion, everything that shines for a couple that has developed on the basis of physical attraction is a joint wonderful intimacy, without love and a future, but if there is a feeling of trust in your life to this person, then love is here closer and longer, as well as the quality of the relationship is improved.

Just as there is trust, i.e. the ability to completely entrust your life into the hands of a loved one, there must also be a component. A vivid example is given to the maternal one, which is the most vivid manifestation of self-sacrifice for the sake of a beloved being, it is natural that in a pair of adults such relationships will indicate some kind of soreness, but there should be elements. It is impossible to talk about the presence of love if there is a need only to receive from a person, to leave in difficult moments for a partner and to observe only one's own interests.

The very question of what you are experiencing indicates dissatisfaction with the relationship, regardless of the answer. Such thoughts creep in if you start using comparisons of your relationship with the relationship of acquaintances or in your parental family, with movie characters or regarding your youthful dreams, and perhaps even with how these same relationships looked at the beginning. All these points have one thing in common: separation from reality and inapplicability to a specific person and specific relationships. To figure it out, you will have to think about what you personally put into the concept of love and, on the basis of this, find the points that you lack in a real relationship. It often happens that you do not have to dig deep between affection and love, and everything is easily solved by a direct and honest conversation with a partner about arranging or not arranging moments.

There are two views on the difference between love and affection - concepts as synonymous (after all, we really become attached to loved ones and can begin to love as a result of affection), while others separate these categories into different poles, considering one a manifestation of sincerity and freedom, and the other pretense and dependence. Indeed, affection can look like love outwardly - so much empathy and care is expressed to a person, attention is given and a privileged position is given with the only difference that this is done through an effort, forcedly, with an understanding of specific losses, if these actions are not performed.

Attachment often develops into dependence, and if you perceive what is happening through such a prism, then they begin to draw signs of the difference between love and attachment - pain, tension,. Fear is created by the possibility of losing a person (its significance may be due to material wealth or psychological comfort), which entails serious frustrating processes for the life of another, and accordingly gives rise to resistance and constant sensitivity. In an effort to avoid loss, a person becomes constantly tense in order to guess the other in time or to restrain the manifestation of his own. All this is done to avoid the pain of a breakup, which is constantly visible on the horizon and scary. Attachment will look something like this, while in love there is no pain, even when parting, a person wants all the best and accepts his choice to move on on his own. And if the killing pain of loss does not threaten, then there is no fear of parting, tension disappears. A person is happy and relaxed, can be anything, and shows care and attention from his own needs and desires, enjoying the process. All this does not mean that attachments take an exceptionally bad form, we all build many relationships on the feeling of attachment, but as long as they are in a soft and free mode, this is acceptable and normal (such relationships can occur between colleagues when they seem to be used to each other , but the world won't collapse if someone changes jobs).

Attachment is always characterized by the presence of benefits (material, housing, psychological, social), but love is more self-sufficient and relationships are present just like that, for the sake of pleasure, and not because of making it easier to pay a mortgage or get rid of the pressure of grandmothers to arrange a personal life.

How to understand if a loved one loves you

If with all questions relating to a person, it is best to approach and ask, then, with regard to sympathy, this method may not work, because out of a sense of embarrassment they may answer you that they do not like, and out of a desire not to offend, tell that they love. However, there are several indirect signs if doubts remain about the confession made or not made. Significantly more eloquent are always actions that betray a person's attitude. If you notice that they care about you, always remember events or plans that are significant for you, help or try to please, then this is definitely about sincere sympathy. But in assessing actions, make allowances for how your loved one perceives the world, it is likely that he will show his signs of attention differently than you would (if in your case these are constant SMS messages, then he may, on the contrary, not write, taking care so as not to disturb you).

Perhaps the most important sign of serious love is the construction of joint plans. When your relationship is long-term, then plans should be big, about a common home and children, and for the initial stage, plans for weekends and holidays are good. If this does not happen, then the conversation can be initiated on your own, because the person is afraid to frighten you off with his serious attitude (after all, many girls believed magazine articles and simply do not talk about plans with the aim not to frighten off their beloved).

The fact that you were introduced to your circle of friends, and possibly relatives, indicates a serious positioning of your relationship, and when you are introduced to new acquaintances as your soul mate, then this is love. If you notice that in public he moves away, and he represents you neutrally, then either you have chosen an extremely secretive and stern man, or he is not defined in feelings.

You want to share with your loved one, and this should include not only material things, but also friends and time, advice from experience and mood. The desire to share with you their joyful participation in your life speaks of love, but the division of spheres with a clear definition without the desire to unite, shows a person’s unwillingness to open up.

In order to express love, it is not necessary to pronounce this word, but such an attitude should be felt, and if you have doubts, then try to speak honestly.

How to understand if you love a person or not after breaking up

The emotional state after a breakup can be very unstable, when you want to kill the one with whom you had romantic feelings and nostalgia rolls in such that you want to return. Here it is worth dealing with the question of how to understand whether you love a person or not after parting, because perhaps this is affection or an unfilled void, and the main thing here is not to confuse such things with the loss of love.

To understand yourself, you need to isolate yourself from the influence of the opinions of others, which can both engage in PR for a rare villain and denigrate a truly loved one. You can forbid talking about your former relationship and reporting any information about the current state of affairs in a person, and if requests do not help, temporarily stop communicating with those who are trying to influence your perception. Listen to how easy it is for you to live every day on your own, how often you remember your ex, open the photos and look at him from an intimate point of view, because you can react to the changed life (that no one rattles the coffee maker or because you didn’t have to carry groceries from shop). Look back and assess if there are resentments between you, often love can be confused with the need for his apology or atonement for your own feelings of guilt. Also imagine the future, general old age and evaluate the feelings from such a picture - if it became warm and cozy, then you can talk about love, if it’s cold, disgusting or nothing, then there’s nothing, even if it caused a lot of activity and a desire to be there, then check - you like the family picture or this person in it.

It’s good to analyze it, and if it seems to you that after parting, feelings are alive, think about the lack of reconciliation or steps in your direction from the former. Usually, if love is sincere, then it is mutual and both regret parting. Getting rid of a false idea will help get rid of - imagine in as much detail as possible that you are in a wonderful relationship where you are appreciated and you are happy, and through this state evaluate your feelings for the former. If, while in a relationship, you do not remember past love, then it was a veiled fear of loneliness, and if you think about it, then it makes sense to suspend the current relationship until you fully understand yourself.

Feelings for the former are normal, it is important, when they arise, to keep a complete picture of what is happening, with all its shortcomings, all your dissatisfaction and share. You can love how he hugged you through a dream and hate the rest of the time, you can miss walking in the park together and enjoy the silence in the apartment in the evening - then this is about very specific things that you need, without all the unwanted list. But if there is an understanding that this person is needed and his shortcomings are complementary to yours, then this is love that can still be returned if you quickly realize and do not wait for feelings to leave.

He made friends at work with a girl older than himself (7 years old). In friendship, everything was going great. Over time, I began to understand that my feelings for her go beyond friendship. He began to show signs of attention to her and everything was going well exactly until the moment he began to offer her to spend time together after work. Every time there were some reasons not to meet. On weekends, I was simply ignored in all forms of communication and means of communication. And when we saw each other at work, communication went on as if nothing had happened. To my questions why such an ignore in my address, what is the reason for refusals in meetings .... she lowered her eyes and said another excuse. She was promoted and our communication came to naught ... although when she heard from colleagues that I had problems at home, she called and asked, cheered me up.

After some time of such communication, my colleague invited me to visit him .... since he had been inviting me for several years, and I still doubted whether to go or not .... I agreed ... yes, and he told me that for several years I was missing the moment to find out the truth about one question. While visiting him, he told me that he and this girl had been together for a long time. It turned out that by inviting me to visit them for several years, they tried to open their relationship to me ... which they carefully concealed at work.

When I asked why everything is so complicated and if they trust me so much .... he did not say and why she did not say.

He wanted to say that's why he invited me to visit him .... she said that she saw my signs of attention and was afraid of my reaction to the fact that she would tell me that she already had a long-term relationship with my colleague.

I continued friendly communication with them without revealing their secret. But once I asked her a question .... I asked her what she was afraid to tell me about their relationship because she was afraid of losing a friend? .... in response, she silently approached me and hugged me tightly. And not long ago there was such a hug too ... I came to them for the New Year and, handing me a gift, she silently hugged me again.

I just honestly cannot understand what she is trying to say and show with these hugs. I would have had enough nice words from her.

Hello!

I'm trying to solve my problem: I'm 40, she's 32. My Beloved is in the city of N, I'm in Moscow (long story - 3 years), but after she moved to the city of N for work (and she comes from there) at the end of July 2017. after a month and a half, there was a serious deterioration in relations, manifested in coldness on her part, closeness, visiting nightclubs and restaurants with new friends (of course, male) from work. I must say right away - I am not a gift, she had reasons, because. I frankly gave up on her last year. I immediately rushed to the city of N 2 days later and proposed to her ... and ... she said that she was not ready to say yes or no and she needed to think! Naturally, all this sharply spurred me on all sorts of loving actions towards her (gentle texts, calls every day (before - much less often and then, rather, at her initiative), which she perceived as artificial actions exclusively under pressure and that the proposal I had to do it earlier and the train left.To my specific question: YES or NO (of course, I didn’t even want to hear NO), a couple of weeks later, when I came to her mother for a couple of days on the DR, she again answered ambiguously, but said, what to break yourself and adapt to me, as it was before, now it won’t; if something doesn’t suit me, I can leave. soul, she, seeing this, offered me the conditions under which she could give a specific answer: I had to start changing something in our relationship (to resolve the issue with my relocation, with work there (I have freelance now, with housing ( in Moscow time an apartment that needs to be exchanged between the former wife with son and me), but at the same time she reserves the right to non-binding communication with new male friends. At that moment, she instantly changed her coldness and closeness to the mercy, kindness and openness that I was used to and so much needed at that moment, that I thought I was dreaming about it. Further, for 2 weeks, for my part, I tried as best I could to be gentle and caring (sending her flowers to the hotel on a business trip, writing gentle SMS), but at the same time a wild feeling of jealousy grew in me and began to spill out, which was expressed in my control questions that didn’t exist before, suspicions, tense conversations on the bodies after that (which she called the removal of the brain), etc. I understood that this was very wrong, but I could not completely control it, because. and she no no, yes, she will add fuel to the fire (does not answer the phone, does not answer the chat or sends photos from restaurants (it is clear that she is not alone there). In the end, last weekend, after 2 weeks from the moment of “warming”, there was a shock freeze and she said that her final answer was NO. Further, the program of rot with historical argumentation began. I did not argue with anything - for all these are facts. I only said that I had analyzed everything, understood, imbued and was ready to change. To which she replied - I do not believe you and I have no desire to try to save something with you anymore. On the same evening, we still went, as planned, to a country hotel, where the “tests” continued, in particular, her Skype conversation with a colleague from work on Saturday evening at 23.30 (obviously, male) allegedly on the issue of a business plan) ). Didn't sleep all night. It was hard. The next day, she periodically changed her anger to mercy, which led me into a stupor, although the general concept did not change: I made a decision, I don’t need you with my trailers (like a former family that I pay attention to - I communicate with my son and, as a result, with my ex, by the way, this is one of the main points, because, I confess this, I really often spent the weekend with my son and went to him in the middle of the week). Plus, questions of a material nature began to emerge in relation to her (they also took place, I do not argue).
As a result, when I reached their house (she lives with my mother and grandmother, with whom I think I have a wonderful relationship), where it was planned that I would stay until the morning, having done shopping together in the store, I took my things from the car, hugged her, kissed her, wished her all the best, called a taxi and left for the hotel. On the way, I realized that, excuse me, I was completely fucked up, because. now removed all moral restrictions from her and, moreover, apparently forced me to tell her relatives the reason for my absence. After that, I wrote to her that, like, see you in the chat, and after a while she wrote that it’s a pity, everything is a pity.
The next day I wrote to her, asked about her health (she caught a cold) - she answered. Later - she sent me something, I answered; this is where it all faded away. All day today, silence on both sides.
I understand that I love her, I want to take care of her, as it was from the very beginning of our acquaintance. My main cant is that I proposed to her only when it was locked up, although I thought about it for a long time - everyone wanted to seize the moment. What do you advise? And, in general, is it possible to make an appointment in person or on Skype, for example, with one of your specialists for a consultation - the question is not an easy one, and I outlined only the very tip of the iceberg. For example, to Vedmesh Natalia?

• Hello Igor. We recommend that you look at your situation from the outside. Turning to the perception of the events of your life as if from the outside, you will be able to soberly evaluate them and react with cold calculation.
  Trying to solve a personal problem, you are even more deadlocked. To let go of a problem situation, it is more expedient to distract from it.
  In order for the union to be happy, efforts in a pair must be made by both partners in the same amount. A relationship between two lovers is a lot of work. If one of the lovers tries to save the relationship with greater returns, and the second with less, then soon the first partner will feel that the union is more important and dear to him than the second half, as a result, this will eventually lead to discontent, and then to quarrels.
  From what you have stated, it seems that only you are trying to develop your relationship, and the girl is in thought and in a free search for "coldness on her part, closeness, visiting nightlife and restaurants with new friends."
  If a girl cherished you, experienced sincere feelings, then she would be glad of your proposal, regardless of when it was received. You cannot change what has already happened to you, but you can react differently to events.
  “I understand that I love her, I want to take care of her, as it was from the very beginning of our acquaintance.” - Relationships, feelings between people cannot be static, they are constantly changing, developing and what you want at the moment does not coincide with your beloved.
  At the moment, you have someone to take care of - this is your child. Pay attention to your child, a smart and loving woman would understand this.

  • Natalia, hello! Thank you very much for your answer.
    I would like to clarify one point about the efforts of partners. After all, in the last post I did not outline all the nuances.
    The fact is that for more than 2 years, including the last year, when I frankly already took for granted her kind, affectionate attitude and gave up on her, she practically made efforts and pulled our relationship, and I started running only when the rooster pecked - like a month and a half! . On her part, there were conversations and resentments and, sometimes, hidden tantrums, which only splashed out a little, but I listened to her and did not hear !! I kept misprioritizing. She just burned out morally and her patience snapped! . Although, it seems to me, I feel that there is still some small spark in her soul, but in her mind she no longer believes in our relationship and does not want to continue it. This is expressed in the fact that she can be closed, ignoring, irritated, harsh (do not touch me, etc.), but suddenly for a short time she can change her anger to mercy. I told her that I feel it, and she says that it's just a habit left. Today and yesterday, for example, she wrote to me, today she sent a photo from her workplace. I also write to her, I’m interested in her well-being, as she can’t get rid of a cold in any way, but I restrain myself strongly so as not to wish good night or good morning or write something affectionate or put a smiley face with a kiss, etc. I don’t want to be intrusive to her now, because I already broke wood with my selfish jealousy, after which, by the way, she refused the conditions offered to her - to see how I would organize our further life together and relationships on my part.
    But still, I believe in the ability to restore relationships and take them to a new level. I myself am to blame for everything, and if I had supported the fire, it would not have turned into coals. Therefore, he must correct the situation on his own initiative. The task now is to rekindle them again. Will have to win it again now. Natalia, I will be very grateful to you if you advise me some strategies and tactics. And in general, if I could get your consultation at least via Skype, I think it would be very helpful.
    Thanks again!

    • Igor, in principle, everything is real. The tactic is simple, be better than yesterday. You have to try to hide your jealousy.
      Considering that your girlfriend is sick now, the obsession would be appropriate “to wish good night or good morning, or not to write something affectionate or not to put a smiley face with a kiss, etc…”. When she recovers and becomes her former, strong, “turns on” coldness, then it will be necessary to “slow down” with courtship so as not to cause her irritability. And right now she needs care and attention, which she will not forget, even if it seems to you in the future that she did not appreciate it.
      We recommend to read:
      

After living with a person for several years or even just spending a long time nearby, many people ask themselves questions: “Do I really love him / her? Am I confusing love and affection, habit and sympathy? Is this the companion with whom I would like to meet my old age? . From the point of view of psychology, these are absolutely normal feelings, because gradually emotions fade into the background, and the mind appears in the center. It is he who seeks to cool our ardor, taking care of the nervous system and the heart, which can break. So the voice of reason is a good and necessary phenomenon, it testifies to a healthy human psyche.

Signs of love

In general, the very concept of “love” is different for each person, because everyone loves in their own way, but still this feeling has common features: love is something good, warm, very important and expensive for everyone, you just feel good when you are with a soul mate.

Let's find out what are the symptoms of true love:

Unselfishness

True love is the most selfless feeling, and if a person is trying to find benefit in a relationship or is constantly waiting for something to be done for him, then there is no way to talk about love here. It is no longer emotion, but enjoyment.

sexual attraction

One of the controversial questions is whether true love can do without sex? It's hard to say, everyone decides for himself, but psychologists say that love is always combined with sexual desire, and this is absolutely natural. But along with the desire to possess a lover, one also wants to see and hear the chosen one, to be near and not only because of "animal" instincts.

Unconditional acceptance

To love means to accept a partner completely, with all his pluses and minuses. Love does not seek to remake a partner to fit its own standards and ideas, it cherishes them, no matter what.

Confidence

This is a very important indicator of true love. If you can share absolutely everything with a partner - both feelings and joy, without fear of being misunderstood, then you can be congratulated - you have real feelings.

permanence

True love differs from falling in love in that it does not give in to external circumstances, for example, when friends or relatives are against the chosen one, the loving person remains of his opinion and continues to build relationships.

sacrifice

True love assumes that a person will be ready to sacrifice something for the sake of a loved one. Moreover, sacrifice does not imply any kind of exchange, the most important thing is your personal moral satisfaction from the fact that you made a person happy.

How do you know if you really love a person?

Method number 1 - test

If there has come a time in your life when you can’t figure out your own feelings, then try to pass this test for yourself, answering sincerely simple questions:

• When you fall asleep, do you think about your loved one, do you want to wish him a pleasant night and dear morning?
• Do you try and strive to do things to make him happy?
• Do you feel comfortable around him/her?
• When you start thinking about him/her, do you smile or worry?
• Do you hurry up the hours and count the minutes before meeting him?
• Do you consider him the best in the world?
• You already know about all his shortcomings, but still continue to love a person and accept him for who he is?
• Does separation from him/her make you sad, worried?

By answering in the affirmative to all questions, you confirm that your feelings are real, but if among the answers there were hesitation and uncertainty, then it may be worth taking a deeper and more thoughtful look at your relationship. But remember, you should answer questions in a calm state - without much euphoria or spat.

Method number 2 - classic

One of the most common and effective psychological methods is to divide a sheet of paper into two columns, write down all the pros and cons of your soul mate, so you can see the real attitude towards him and his assessment of his personality. After analyzing the number of advantages and disadvantages, you will understand what you really feel for him, and, of course, the predominance of positive qualities is another evidence of your love.

Method number 3 - meditation

This is a great way to relax, distract yourself and look inside yourself - for this, sit in a comfortable easy chair or on a pleasant carpet, turn off all sources of sound, close your eyes and start breathing deeply but slowly through your nose.

After calming down and disconnecting from extraneous thoughts, imagine a loved one. Remember all your feelings - what did you want? Come and hug? Or did you get upset and want to run away? Decide on all your feelings - meditation is very good at helping you understand your true feelings for your loved one.

Method number 4 - tough but sure

The technique is considered one of the most effective - try to imagine for a few minutes that a loved one is no longer with you, or, conversely, you may never have met at all. What is the first thing that comes to your mind? How do you feel during this, what does it bring you - pain and discomfort? As you know, a person understands the full significance of someone or something only after losing him, so the result of these reflections will be an understanding of what you really feel for the chosen one.

Love or affection?

Another point that worries many, how can you still distinguish and understand - love or affection binds you? Take note of a simple condition: true love is, first of all, disinterested care, and affection is still a kind of psychological dependence on a person.

And the basis of attachment is not selflessness and happiness, but dependence and even suffering that the addict experiences, and if attachment is also accompanied by special feelings that deprive a person of freedom, then we can already talk about psychological obsession.

Of course, sorting out your true emotions is not so easy, but now you know exactly what can and should be done. Let you not have to doubt your choice. Love and be loved!

Hello dear readers. In this article we will try to deal with the question “do you love a person or not?”. Sometimes there are situations when it is very difficult to determine your feelings, and you may face a serious choice, for example, an offer to marry. Then this question begins to interest especially strongly, because no one wants to make a mistake in their choice.

Love, addiction or attraction

If you ask different people to define the word "love", you will get different options. This is the attitude towards their children, towards animals, in food, country or partner. However, the most commonly encountered definition will relate to the emotional manifestation of feelings for a person of the opposite sex. Many people are faced with a situation where they cannot decide, think about the phrase “I don’t understand whether I love or not.” After all, we can confuse love with a habit, and sometimes with addiction. This is starting to worry. But you can figure it out, knowing what are the characteristic manifestations of sympathy, love and falling in love exist. Let's see how different qualities differ, which are often mistaken for love.

1. Sympathy can persist for a long time, however, it mainly occurs between friends. In such a situation, it is necessary to understand what the feelings for a particular chosen one were based on. Is there a willingness to provide support, assistance in difficult moments in the life of another person, are there common interests? If so, then, most likely, after some time, the feeling of sympathy will develop into true love.
2. Sexual attraction. If, while communicating with your partner, you experience arousal, this is not an indicator that you love him, most likely you need him to satisfy physiological needs.
3. The combination of interests and sexual attraction may indicate the presence of romantic love. This period is the most wonderful in a relationship, but it is observed mainly in young couples.
4. Passion. When there is a serious relationship, she is not one of the leading signs. It is absurd to assume that you love someone if passionate feelings flare up between you, because you can’t go far on passion alone.
5. Lovers, friends and associates at the same time. It is believed that true love will not arise if there is no friendship between partners.
6. Addiction. It is important to avoid emotional sadism. If a person believes that someone must be with him, then this is a manifestation of false love, and not real feelings.
7. Jealousy. The jealous person is selfish by nature, wanting to rule over his partner.

Signs of real feelings

1. Constancy. If you truly love a person, you do not lose interest in him over time. If there is an attempt by another person to interfere in the relationship, then the lover will defend his happiness, will not back down from him.
2. Selflessness and sacrifice. A person who is in love, first of all, thinks about himself and about the benefits that he can get when communicating with a partner. If the feelings are real, then all thoughts are primarily directed to the object of love, and desires are reduced to making the beloved happy. In this case, the person does not require anything in return. If there is a healthy relationship in which both partners love, then there is a mutual return, both do everything to make life more joyful and comfortable.
3. Powerful emotions. If a person truly loves, this does not prevent him from communicating with friends. If the individual sees nothing but the object of his love, all thoughts are only about him, then definitely we are talking about, and not about real feelings, and this condition must be treated. A person who loves will not stop engaging in self-development, will not live on the ideas, interests and thoughts of another. At the same time, the person who is the object of love will stand out from the background of other people.
4. Peace of mind and trust. If you love a person, then you begin to trust him.
5. Unconditional acceptance. If you truly love, you will not try to change your partner.
6. If intimate relationships take place, then over time the need for intimacy with a partner only increases if this is true love.

Love is characterized by such manifestations:

• looking forward to meeting your loved one;
• happy when this person is near;
• waking up in the morning, the first person you think about is your beloved, falling asleep, you also remember him;
• when communicating with a partner, there is a desire to talk about both good and bad;
• take into account both your interests and the needs of your partner;
• you want the whole world to know about your feelings;
• you accept your partner as he is, you see his shortcomings, but you accept them;
• you plan a joint future, dream of a family;
• striving to change, to become better;
• a loved one is the best friend with whom you can talk about a lot, get advice and support;
• being next to the chosen one, you feel peace, tranquility;
• thinking about the second half, the heart begins to beat faster, a smile appears on the face;
• expecting a meeting with a partner, you miss him.

Ways

In addition to the characteristic signs of love, you can try various methods of determining your feelings.

1. Advantages and disadvantages. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into two columns. In the first write down all the positive features of your partner, everything that you like, in the second - all the shortcomings. Now analyze what you have written. If there are more flaws, then your love is in doubt.
2. Meditation. Take a comfortable position, close your eyes, be alone with your thoughts. So you can sit for half an hour or more. It is important that there are no factors that can distract, lead to other thoughts. Focus on your breathing, calm down, imagine the person you doubt your feelings for. Mentally seeing him, try to understand what you feel at the moment, whether there is a desire to approach him, hug, kiss, or some negative feelings appear. After evaluating these sensations, you can understand how dear he is to you and whether there is love here.
3. "Love is no more." The technique is quite radical, but very effective. You need to imagine that such a moment has come and your chosen one is no longer with you or your acquaintance never took place. What feelings do such thoughts evoke? Are you comfortable with this or are you experiencing severe pain? The fact is that many people sometimes do not understand what feelings they have for a particular person until they lose him. But then it's too late to change anything. That is why it is so important to resort to such a method in order to reveal what feelings are actually hidden in your heart, how dear this person is. If there is severe pain at the mere thought that he is not around, then everything must be done in order to maintain this relationship. There is definitely love in your heart. But you should not forget that love addiction can also give a similar result, because a person who is obsessed with another cannot imagine his life without him, and also experiences pain.

It is very important to be able to distinguish real feelings from fake ones in order to easily answer the question, “Do you love a person?”.

1. You need to decide what exactly attracts you in a partner. Maybe you are only interested in physical data, an impeccable figure, a beautiful face, and then there is no place for love. Or are you interested in the whole personality, and not in individual traits?
2. The number of qualities that attract in a partner. You need to figure out what advantages your partner has, what features you pay attention to. The more of these qualities, the stronger the feelings. If a person is simply infatuated with a person of the opposite sex, he may like, for example, a partner's sense of humor and nothing else.
3. Beginning of history. If your relationship started fast, then it is unlikely that true love is taking place. Real feelings develop gradually with the knowledge of the object of sympathy and only over time become overgrown with roots, tied to a person.
4. persistence of interest. If love is experienced for an individual, over time he does not begin to annoy, there is no desire to break off relations. Real feelings are able to withstand any obstacles and obstacles.
5. The influence of feelings. When you love a person, you strive to be even better, engage in self-development. If you just “drown” in it, then you are dependent, but not in love.
6. When you love, parting with your loved one, you experience a feeling of loneliness, you feel that someone is missing, you look forward to meeting.

Now you know how to understand what you love. Remember that some people often confuse true feeling with falling in love or with love addiction. Be extremely careful, I deal with my inner world. Take your time if there is any doubt about this, in time you yourself will realize whether there is love or not.